I finally understand the poems, the songs and the films. That feeling of despair, the suffocation, heart-clenching thing that is a broken heart.

I am not one to cry with ease, but these past few days everything triggers memories of him, and my eyes water. It's not that we're over that hurts. It's the fact that he didn't fight for what I thought was love. I must have been wrong.

The good memories come up unexpected. I might be having a coffee and I will remember that look. No one has ever looked at me like that; proud, hopeful, in love. What happened to the emotion in his eyes?

I still know each inch of him by heart. His mole below the left corner of his mouth. His pointy ears and me driving him crazy when I kissed him. The sudden rush I felt whenever he was about to kiss me, and how he touched me as If I were sacred, always asking me If I was okay with what was going on.

I was warned about him, but I didn't believe it. He said he was different with me, he said I made him a better person. In the end I guess he always was what he was. I don't believe I meant nothing to him, that is for sure.

I lost a lot of things to this boy. I will not forget him tomorrow, or in a month, not even in a year. I will still cry for him someday in the future, and I will see him some day too. Despite how much he has hurt me, I want to kiss him again, one last time, one last kiss; I need to remember.

I'm still in love with him.
Randomelle Randomelle
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 9, 2016

i know the feeling dont worry future is always good

yep.. it sucks.. when singing the lyrics and finally feeling the pain instead of joking about it.