Beyond Repair It Feels Like

Everything I've worked so hard to keep is Gone.. Every Dream I ever had Crushed.. I wanted a Family.. I can't have that.. No I end Up in a place not even home..Wake Up with a Life that Doesn't make any Sence.. I Loved him.. I Gave him everything my heart My soul Everything that ever Meant anything to me I Let Him have it all and Ended up with Nothing... But a Broken Heart and Broken Dreams and Broken Everything I am So broken Words can't describe..

I ask God Why this happens But I know everything happens For a Reason. But what is the plan for me.. How Can I Get Through this pain of Loosing Everything.. I tell myself it's his Loss and Leave it at that... but  some how it's not good enough.. Two years I gave to him.. Two Damn Years I stayed Faithful, I had no Friends.. I gave up my Career and Tried to make the best of It. Even though I was Lonely most of the time. I never knew how to Live happy.. But I faked it pretty well.. TO end Up Here Broken and Trying to make Since of Everything..
matthewsmommy matthewsmommy
18-21, F
3 Responses Aug 1, 2010

I did give A lot of things up made a lot of changes For Him. But No more will I wallow in Self Pity. Yes He did Break me Yes He did Take a lot out of me. Matthew is my Number one Focus He is and He always will be. Men will Come and Men Will Go But Matthew Will always be there so I am going to make the best of a Bad situation.

My sugestion is,dont change for someone.It looks like you gave up alot to be with this person.If he really loved you he would let you be you.Maybe now you can get back into that career that you were into.Maybe call some of those friends that you lost or make some new ones.Jack is right,take care of your son,he comes first.Do what you need to do to give him a good childhood.

Thanks it's getting better..