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The Beginning

When I was 12, my sister came home from college because of a terrible event. It turned out to be an eating disorder. Because she thought she was fat, I thought I was obese. She was naturally thin. I had to skate 3 hours a day to stay average. I started restricting at 12, started purging when I was 15. The lowest I ever got was 94, and now i'm back up to 110. I hate myself so much I started cutting. I've been a cutter for about 10 months, and still loving it. Just not loving my body. So I'm training for a 10k run next month, which requires a lot of running, and not much food. 
deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 6, 2010

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the above comment doesnt help at all, if you hate your job so much quit and become a waitress or a janitor and your still get **** money, you don't have to deal with blood, and they provide your with a uniform. Your no doctor so you have no business diagnosing people online. ha good luck on your marathon friends ;p

Well, actually, I'm a runner myself. I am sick with both eating disorders. Training for a 10k actually DOES require food. I'm an EMT, also. You're not going to be able to do it without eating. Your blood sugar will drop within minutes. You want a trip to the hospital? Then eat. You can't be an anorexic and an athlete. Your heart will give up. Also, "cutting" is characteristic of borderline personality disorder. I see it every day. Try to refocus your anger into something that doesn't wear people like me out. It ****** me off to no end that I get paid **** to take care of unmedicated borderlines who "cut" themselves. Whenever I get blood on MY clothes, that I pay for, I have to incinerate them, and buy more with my paycheck. I get paid minimum wage. Cutters cost me money, when people who are really hurt NEED me. I understand your reasoning for doing so, but really. They do NOT treat cutters well in the ER. AT ALL. I see it alot. Your stitches will be rough, they will curse, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. If you're cutting yourself, also, that's a secondary diagnosis, but they will treat that first before treating your ED. So stop.