A Scary Life I Have Come to Love

   So Hi! my name is Amber and I am 18 and I am a Bulimic / Anorexic (well to people in the medical

field.) And here is my story!

I became a Bulimic / Anorexic about 3 years ago when I was dating this guy I love so much! We went to

Oregon camp with our church and he was sitting with his friends and called me fat! I ran away and

threw up and from that point on I have had this "problem." I finally got down to an AMAZINGLY

PERFECT weight of 97 pounds and was put in the hospital! Where I gained all my weight back and was

not allowed to leave til I went up to 135 and I have only gained weight since then and I am so upset.

So I have decided to go back to my old ways and not eat and if I lose that will-power then I will just

purge. I am NOT looking for help to stop, just help to keep going! (and keep my goal in a forward



thefatskinny1 thefatskinny1
7 Responses Jun 22, 2009

I know how you feel I started dieting at 19 and for the next 2 years I lowered my intake and became anorexic and weighing from 7-6 stone I'm 5,8 and at the time I wanted to look normal. I had previously been 13-14 stone at 16. I managed to start eating again and after being admitted to hospital due to blacking out at work, and having a poor heart issue recovery was good. I joined a gym few months later being pit of health but my weight, increased in muscle mass when I thought I was getting fat. I felt very uncomfortable so I started restricting my eating and developed moments every night of purging, which I'm still trying to fix. I'm 23 this year, and I go for meals occasionally but it takes alot of willpower to sit having a meal specially since I ruined my metabolism. My periods have come back and I'm a healthy weight just, but I don't eat a lot and because my digestive system doesn't work like it use to I can't eat many solid foods, I have to blend or liquidfy what I eat to be able to digest it properly. My throats constantly sore and my teeth have eroded on one side of my mouth. I have burned my tonsil and use to throw up blood. There is always pressure to lose weight and its not worth it. I ruined my body and I'm paying for it being sore everyday the best thing is it could be worse as I could have possibly never had children in which me and my partner want to do when I get better. My partners 27 and he said to me that if this is what we both want then I have to sort myself out first. I don't have a relationship with my parents because of this but I've had to pull back out of it myself. Please please please learn to love your positive parts, write a list on what you like and what you don't like. I don't like my bum so I do squats 3 times a week. It takes time effort and patience and when you do exercise you will feel like you have achieved something worth while. I'm not saying you have to eat loads, I'm saying you can eat what you need to, to stay a reasonable weight and enjoy doing it and not end up like me.

The hospital seems stupid. If they know so much about Ed then wouldn't you think they would ease into the weight gain. Stupidstupidstupid. Now you could hurt yourself even more

I'm going through the exact same thing right now.

i've been exactly where you are. the hospitak thinks they're doing the right thing but in truth you come out feeling worse than you ever did before. i think its great your doing something to get to the weight your happy with

That sounds like something what happend to me. I see where your coming from, if you need any help and support to keep going send me a message because i need someone like that aswell, its hard doing stuff like this on your own and sometimes you need someone to motivate ya to keep you going and not giving up xoxo much love yasmin x

i kind of understand your story, i have done the same. i am 19 now been anorexic for awhile off and on...to help you, i would say become a vegitarian or vegan, you will help your self and animals.... for the other part try not to throw up it messes up your throat....just to say a few words

Hi Amber, Wow what a story...It sounds now that your in a panic to get the weight off now. Don't eat boxed or processed, because these are the foods that are making you fat. You'll lose weight a lot faster and look good in the end too. It's also nice that your mood and skin will look great. So anything that nature didn't make don't eat it! The sad thing is if you keep doing what you want to do, you might actually lose not just your weight...But, your life too.