Help

First of all i'm sure that i am going to be the old lady on this site but here goes.  I'm 40 and going thru my binging and purging period.  I'm having a hard time getting out of the funk.  I do ok most of the time during the day but by the time work is done i am thinking about what i can eat where i can stop and how full i can get.  Then go home and get sick.  If i have too much time on my hands then i do it all over when i get home.  I was doing so well until a month ago.  I would go to the gym work out for 3-4 hours which is a bit obsessive i know but it made me come home late and then just hit the hay.  Now i am having a hard time getting back into the gym.  I have spent all day watching tv and purged 3 times and still want to do more.  Yikes i told u i'm in a funk

dolphin1469 dolphin1469
36-40, F
2 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Hi, I guess Im the "Old Lady" now, Im 45 years old and have binged and purged since 1998. The only thing is, Im diabetic, and it wasn't doing me any good. I would buy a box of cereal, eat, and throw it up! I used to do cocaine and drink beer (Quit 5 years ago) and I would have really bad sore throats and at night, would have sleep apnea (Anyone else have the same problem?) So, I couldn't stand feeling that way, so I had to stop. I still have times were I want to do it, but it makes me feel so crappy that I dont bother anymore. Still, I feel like eating anything want, and then the thought of, Well, I CAN eat it, and get rid of it, then do it again, and by the third time, I COULDN"T LOOOK at food after the third time!! Its a control thing. I felt in control, and I wasn't going to gain weight. I havent done it in a while, and I still weigh the same as when I did it.

I just read your story and it made me cry because I am the exact same way. I have this great career and great family and friends and everyone thinks I have this great life but there's this dark secret I have that is an exact carbon copy of what you do. I'm so embarrassed to ask for help. Thanks for sharing your story - makes me feel like I'm not alone.