Oh ****! What Just Happened? Im Caught!!!

Soo tho a few of you have told me to not move in with my boyfriend, I decided too anyway. I felt the time was "right" and this was the next best thing to getting away from my family. I have been thinking about this decision a lot before actually decided to move in with him and I have come to the conclusion that moving with him would the best choice. I'm sick and i'd rather get to know me away from my family to get to kno me on my own rather than bring my bulimia to college. I felt that if I had decided to go away to college I would be physically drained both because my head would constantly be strategising ways to find bathrooms that empty long enough to purge without getting heard and b physically drained and having trouble focusing in class.

BUT...ENOUGH about my backround and my decision on wat to do so far with my life...my story today is about my truely being caught by boyfriend. He already knows about it of course because I told him..a while back. Bt recently..he actually HEARD ME..
He and I recently went to vegas with his family and it was a pretty okay trip. Hot, a lot of ppl, and a lot of gambling. Umm I brought of course clothes for this hot vacation bt some ppl (his fam, who happen to I guess b all a little overweight). Some time during our stay in vegaseverything got to me overtime. Not just the talking about my clothing or the lack there of in their words, bt also the combination ofmy own bad self image and the things my boyfriend said too or well didnt say. Somehow it jus pushed me off the edge....and I purged. Ummit just happened. I couldn't explain why it happened bt it did. I had promised both my boyfriend and I I would stop once he and I were together or at least tell him b4 I decide to do bt I tell him fast enough. I felt bloated and fat and all the alcohol I was drinking made me feel I was drinking pound after pound with each sip I took. I felt sick and somethin had to go so I purged..

I turned the shower on in our hotel room and waited until the water was loud enough or so I thought at the time to then be able to purge while my boyfriend was in the room and have him not hear me. The tv was loud, the shower was turned on high, and my boyfriend was glued to the tv. I started to purge. I purged for about wat seemed like forever. I drank lot of water so it came out easier and I didn't have to force it. Seconds after I finished, my boyfriend knocked on the door and opened it b4 I could jump in the shower enough to give the illusion I was showering. He came in there so calmly and grabbed me out the shower wet and all and hugged me. He told me he heard me and it was okay. I cried my eyes out. I was so careful I thought. I felt embarrassed and I wanted him to let me go so I can faint bt he didn't. He jus held and let me cry in the shower as we both got wet..I was caught..

I didn't expect him to b as calm as he was or even for him to hold me as I cried. He caught me, bt didn't scream or yell or curse. He caught me..and loved me still..He caught me..and kissed me...and loves me still..
vegasshorts2010 vegasshorts2010
18-21, F
Aug 11, 2010