To the rest of the world I probably look like I have it all put together. I am a recent law school graduate, have a gorgeous husband and a beautiful child. I am actually rather pretty, and in comparison to most I am in okay shape. I try to get to the gym a couple times a week and other than the holidays, I try to watch what I eat. But inside I am almost always a complete mess.
I have been bulimic off and on since I was 14. It comes every time I have serious emotional stress in my life, and stays for as long as 3 years straight. I have a lot of guilt with food, even when I am "doing fine". I have anxiety over everything. Money and debt. Leaving the house. Answering the phone. I really feel trapped in my head all the time. Except when I purge. There is something so relieving about it. It just feels like I am getting all the anger and fear and negativity out of me. I know it is a silly thought, but sometimes things don't make sense.
I would really like to kick it once and for all. For myself and for my family. They deserve a healthy momma, inside and out.