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What If I'm Sick Forever?

I'm very self-loathing by nature. I've never thought highly of myself, and I just view myself as disgusting. On more than just a physical level. I've been throwing up for a year and a half solid now. It has been on and off for about 6 years. And they say that in the long run it just makes you gain weight? Ha... I know I should not be humorous about it... I guess that is just my way of coping. When I first started throwing up, my parents thought it was just over a breakup. And it was, at first. But then I just kept doing it. And my dad looked at me and said. I'm not encouraging throwing up or anything, but it's really workin for ya. ...What? I'm lying to people and I'm sneaking around. I was not even sure if I wanted to get better for a while... Sometimes I still wonder.
deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 8, 2012

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Hi ScarletWitch13, I became bulimic at 14 and I know how it feels. My parents were always telling me to lose weight. I think that was very thoughtless of your father to say that. But I have come a long way in recovery and so can you. Have you thought about seeing an eating disorder counselor? I know that's a scary thought, but I bet it would help. I am here for you if you want to talk.

You really do want to get better but sometimes that desire is hidden behind other feelings. Keep working on it.

Remember, when Dr. Phil says "how's that working for you?" he is trying to get the other person to acknowledge that it is not working.

Loving your self as one of God's beautiful creatures is a good thing and maybe will help you avoid doing bad things to your self.