This Is Me

I have been bulimic for 3 years now (my dirty little secret) I binge up to 4 times a day - this is only on weekends, during the week I starve myself and I will not eat, now and then I will eat a yoghurt. WHen I get home I will most probably eat a small bowl of fibre (Special K or all bran) this will be my ¨dinner¨. On some days I feel the need to purge and binge I will consume up 3 times as much as a normal person would and I feel sick to the bone when I am done purging, consuming so much food makes it easier to bring it all up. I have tried to give this up but as soon as I start picking up weight I start all over again. I picked up 2kgs in the last month and this was such as shock when I couldnt fit into my slim jeans that I am back to where I started. My life revolves around losing weight and I hate girls that are skinny, this makes things worse beacuse then I really have a go at it and push myself to the max...

This all started after my 3 year boyfriend dumped me beacuse I was too ¨fat¨. It ripped my heart out when those words were said to me, I made a promise to myself to never date someone again until I lost all the weight that I picked up! Up to date I lost 26kgs. I am still not happy when I stand infront of a mirror I still see all these places where theres fat! Its my way of feeling good and dealing with all the crap in my life! But hey I look like a normal person, nobody knows except you and God!

BulimicME BulimicME
22-25, F
Mar 10, 2009