Bulimia After 10 Years
I have been bulimic for 10 years. In the first 3 years it was very bad, i would binge and purge 2 or 3 times a day. After a few years of seeing multiple therapists I felt much better and finally in the last 4 years my bulimia has improved.
Unfortunately in recent months it seems to be creeping back, and i have now started bingeing and purging once a week. I feel completely out of control in terms of food and how much I eat, I never feel full and I eat in complete anxiety knowing that each meal could turn into a binge.
I am so sick of bulimia being part of my life, I feel like a complete failure that I am now 25 and out of my teens, the problem still hasn't gone. I'm sure that bulimia hinders my romantic life as I feel completely insecure about my body even though I know deep down that i'm not overweight at a size 12. I watch all my friends around me becoming more confident and finding themselves inlove and admired by their partners. I wsh I could have that.
I often have a succession of days when all I think about is binging and what I could binge on, and then finally i'll become so week to the fantasies that I follow through and dedicate a whole day to bulimia. I feel awful afterwards, fat, hideous, and lacking in energy and confidence.
I want to share my story with people that may understand and also seek advice from anyone who may have recovered.