I Need To Quit
I am a recent mother. For me, bulimia started after my child was born. I wanted to lose all of my baby weight immediately. The dr. said it could take me up to 9 months to lose it, but I had my pre baby body back within 3 months. At first, I just worked out really hard and ate a very sensible diet. I was breast feeding, so that helped burn extra calories. While breast feeding helped, it also hindered my progress. I couldn't restrict my diet too much because I didn't want to withhold nutrients from my child. I quit breast feeding around 6 months and that is when I lost control of myself.
I began bingeing and purging almost immediately. It just felt to good to eat whatever I wanted. In that moment I didn't care about the calories, but afterward I would throw up before I had time to digest it. Sometimes, I would still have the last bite in my mouth when I began to purge. I throw up at least once a day, but often much more. I'm really trying to be good, but I can't talk to my husband about it. He just gets angry. He doesn't understand why I do this. I'm a very thin person. Almost too thin, but I just can't stop. He tempts me into eating these very unhealthy things, and then I feel compelled to purge. Sometimes I eat something just so I can purge it.
I have an amazing life. My family is beautiful. I'm a happy person. I have to quit this behavior. Right now.