What Keeps You Going?

I would very much like to ask the question, "What Keeps You Going?"
I would very much like to discuss this with anyone who belongs in this group (and if you ask me, anybody who is willing to have a reasonable discussion!). So I'll just post this little question and hope for the best. If the question is not clear enough, I'll make it more specific below.

You are surrounded by things that which you despise, they just won't leave you alone. Every single day you feel frustration, frustration that I, and more importantly, THEY are not able to fathom. Have you ever thought about ending it all? Taking your own life? Does the notion of death scare you? Why? Would it not be preferable? Do you think there is any hope whatsoever for humanity? What kind of hope? In short, ANYTHING that you think can answer this question, anything that makes it more interesting or whatever, please write that down!

I hope that as many of us as possible can get into this and discuss. I would love to hear what you have to say.
KingNothing90 KingNothing90
22-25, M
1 Response Sep 21, 2012

Im not sure if im a complete misantrope at this juncture, but i definitely am sickened by humanity. What ****** me off is that anyone given dire circumstances that just wont change would start to hate being a part of this world. Me personally what keeps me going is false hope. In the back of my mind, i think i will meet someone that is wholesome yet feels like i do about a lot of things. I hold out hope that i will find a job and one of my few, yet very strong, talents will be used and needed. But even that is becoming hopeless because everything is high tech and things im good at can be done better by a ******* computer.

Most days ive been wondering why i should even keep going on. Sometimes i seriously try to imagine the easiest way to go. After the hell on earth ive been through myself i damn well at least deserve to feel very little pain and fear in my last moment.

Hi, I'm glad someone finally commented on this, I had almost given up hope on ever getting an answer. Ah yes! False hope... Sometimes I actually like to think that things will be different, that humanity somehow will change and become so much more than what it is today; a society that encourages a "kill it with fire" attitude if it differs from the norm. But that tiny shred of hope is usually crushed by the sheer force of reality, the reality which tells me that things probably wont ever be different, or that I won't live long enough to see the change. The only thing that ever "changes" are the oh important gas taxes...

For the moment, I find great solace in video games, science fiction/fantasy books, music and a few other things. It's pretty much mental therapy for me. My parents would tell me otherwise though; that it is "childish" and that I need to grow up. Yet they spend no time whatsoever in trying to find out what it is that makes me care so much about these games. Funny... I often wonder why they bother with their lives. Probably because they have been taught NOT think. Ignorance is bliss, eh? -.- After all, these are the people who will try to encourage you to give up. "Don't worry about it!" "Don't think about it!" they'll tell you. The moment you stop thinking... What's the ******* i n g point?

You mention that you want to meet someone who is "wholesome" but also feels like you do. Not to pretend that I know you (because I don't...) but I would probably argue that anybody who feels like you or I do, would probably not be feeling too well ^^ At least not "on the inside". But hell yeah, I want more people like myself in my life (it sounds a bit silly but I think you get the idea). I have been immensely lucky in that regard, I do have a person I consider my Best and Only Friend. He is honest, takes no **** from anyone, and stands up for what he believes.

About suicide. I can't say I have actually (like I have truly been thinking the thoughts) considered it as an option. My current opinion on the subject is that it is not the answer. But I still can't shake the feeling, the feeling that everything is so damn pointless! Already when you are born, society has a purpose for you, a path it wants you to walk. OH they will tell you that you're free to do as you please! But I think we both realize how ridiculous that is. First off, they would NEVER let you do as you please. And second, who the hell cares about what a bunch of "kings", "presidents" or bureaucrats say? The only thing that matters is what is true. For instance, I want to leave Earth. I want to leave all this pettiness behind and let humanity tear itself apart as much as it damn well pleases... One problem though: at this rate we simply CANNOT leave Earth. It's just that simple.
I can think of two things that really bothers me about suicide.

One: When you take your own life. I mean when YOU take your own life, everything that made you into who you are is gone. Just like that. Your thoughts, your experiences and your ideals are simply erased, and forgotten forever. And what is left? The same damn rotten mess. The same petty bloated insidious pile of goo that is the scum of humanity is there, none the wiser. As always. One thing that made humanity not so crappy is now gone, and what remains is the trash.

Two: The thought of ending my own life gives me the feeling that I'm letting "them" win... I'd rather stay. And perhaps bring them that uncomfortable truth they all seem to wish to escape.

When it comes to "finding a job" I think of it like this: it absolutely HAS to be something that I care about, something that I enjoy. Otherwise it's a complete waste and I'll go nuts for real within weeks...

What are your great talents?