I have decided to live a celibate lifestyle for over a month now. The reason I chose to be celibate is because after being in 2 long term relationships, one for 10 years the other for 6, I have realized that it is time I think about me. I have been severely abused in every imaginable way and feel disgusted at the thought of someone touching me. I feel deeply in love with someone after my 2 long term relationships and gave this person every bit of love I had left in me. This person was amazing. He was everything I ever wanted in a man. Little could I imagine that I had fallen in love with a narcissist. This man mimic d who I was and I fell for it. In the end I was financially and emotionally ruined. After that experience I decided that it wasn't worth falling in love anymore and I have refused to have sex because I get no pleasure out of it since I feel like a piece of *** anyways. I am sick and tired of being somebody else's entertainment. People have used me and laughed behind my back. I have no trust in anybody and to be fair to others I rather have no intimate relationships. My heart has been broken for the last time!