I was married twice. After 2 years of dating, 18 months of engagement, 3 years of marriage, knowing all his friends and family, I found out that he was a, gasp, pedaphile. We thankfully had no kids. I divorced and remarried. This one became abusive while I was pregnant with our son that we planned on having. So I decided years ago, simply, that's it. I'm not going to have men as friends. (don't want to lead anyone on) I'm not going to date any. I am going to be celebate for the rest of my life and am happier this way. I wish I'd gone this route from the start. But if I had, I never would have known how much more peaceful and enjoyable this life is.