I have come to know that sex= love . And love= sex. Being with many men, I have been used, raped, and molested since the age of 12. I am in the longest relationship I have ever been in. I am engaged, and after telling him my deep dark history, he suggested that we stop having sex until we get married because he felt that I had been used for sex so much that he wanted to be different. I was stunned at first. Hurt; I felt disgusting, as if he had come to that conclusion because of something I had said. After thinking about it for a long while, and discussing it with someone close to me I came to the conclusion that it would be good for me. I discovered that the reason I was so hurt, and angry was because I really didnt want to take a look at myself. My part in my life, and the experiences that I have come to endure. By doing this, it will determine whether or not the relationship is based on spiritual principals such as honesty, openmindedness, willingness, forgiveness, compassion, and acceptance. Or if its based on sex. I really think that this will give me a chance to become closer with him emotionally, and to determine whether or not we can make it together. With that said, we have made the decision to be celebate. I am celebate.