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Wanting To Be A Virgin For Life

I'm a guy who loves and is really into things like classical and jazz music as well as things like reading, sports and writing poetry. So I have a lot of interests that take my time. I am currently a 20 year-old male college student. Usually the guys I hang around just want sex, sex, and more sex. But that is not me at all. I don't ever want to lose my virginity, which probably sounds weird to people since I am a male. So let me explain who I am.

I'm a virgin in every sense of the word. I have not kissed anyone (not really wanting to) or even hugged anyone except my family members and a few friends. I've never had a girlfriend (obviously) and I'm not really looking to have one because I don't care to have a romantic relationship. I would much rather just be friends with someone. I would rather be friends than have a girlfriend or wife because friendship is usually a non-sexual thing, while in dating, there is an expectation of sex or deep passion, which is something I don't want at all. That doesn't say that I wouldn't want a relationship at all. I would only want one that is completely platonic/non-sexual. I've already told my parents about my plans for a sexless future, and they are a little bit confused about it. I think there are okay with it for now because they think it is some phase I'm just going through. But when I say that I never want to have sex, they seem to get upset because I think.they had plans of me marrying and having babies.

As for what inspires me, I would have to say that there are three main things. The first would be career. I am really career-focused and want to have a great work life and do the many things I love, like music and poetry, at the same time. I think that inspires me first. The second is my faith. I am a Christian (non-denominational) and I am pretty religious. But it doesn't inspire my decision as much as my career does. And the third and final one is just apathy. I don't care to have a relationship because I am happy with myself and with my friendships. And I guess I think that I would much rather be a good friend rather than be a good lover/sex partner. This one inspires me quite a bit, to be honest.

And that's really all I have to say. When I say this to some people, they go insane and think I am unnatural, but I think that I am okay. I just feel as if I would be just fine if I was a virgin forever. But what do you think? Do you think I am unnatural?
tyc113 tyc113 18-21 11 Responses Jan 8, 2011

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Sounds like a plan to me. Good luck and I hope it works for you!

I think you are perfectly normal even though your life choices may differ from others. I actually share similar ideals with you since I also want to remain celibate for life. I think that your goals in life and your interests are really cool and hopefully you will find that one person that you can have a platonic relationship with.

I'm a celibate too, but I don't plan to be a virgin forever. One day, I'll make a promise to a man who loves me enough to spend the rest of our lives together. With love like that, sex will be wonderful. It's called making love, right? I'm just saying, when you love someone enough, the idea of sex won't be such ennui for you anymore.

I think you are getting this wrong! I have just learned the word "celibate" today, and have FINALLY found a word that described me! The biggest problem with humanity, if you ask me, is the way they compare love with... yea... I can't even say the word... I am so against this, that even mentioning the word, is a shame for me. LOVE, just love... think about that word! Think about the butterflies that you feel in your stomach when you're in love, all those good things... It's just SUCH a shame to ruin that by dirty thoughts! I believe in love, and I believe in the difference between love and friendship! And that's because I am one of the only people in this world to actually understand the meaning of love! I am seriously concidering believing that! I feel bad for people who hide from falling in love because they believe it is something that includes dirty things.

I think that, the word that must not be mentioned, is a taboo subject, and should always remain that. No arguments needed, people should be able to realize that they are not perverts, and not talk about it. (Or do it as well!!!) ((Unless you regret it of course, I am good at forgiving!))

Here are my two ways of explaining why *** is the worst to ever combine with a lover:

1.

A ***** is a cheap girl. She's just not worth anything, because she is such a pervert, who only have dirty things to do.

A lover is the OPPOSITE!!!!! Someone who deserves to be treated right, not someone you should abuse as a ***** or a toy... You should only play with her inner feelings, and emotions, unlike what ****** do! So don't turn her into a cheap girl, by doing, you know what, with her.

2.

What is a family member? Think about your brother, sister, or mother... or father... Do they mean anything to you? Hopefully yes... okay, I'll tell you something: THAT'S what love is! It's when you would do anything to protect them, (just like a family member) You like to experience things with them (again, like you do with a family member) You give them hugs, you smile with them, you want them to be happy, they mean a lot to you etc. etc. All of these things are signs of true love... True love between you and your family members, which is a perfect example of what love means. But, do you have *** with them? NO! Why? Because, you're obviously not a pervert, and you love them... they MEAN something to you! And a lover, is JUST, and I repeat, JUST like a family member! Once you get together with someone, it's like a new family member!

People who thinks that kissing is a sign of something dirty are wrong though! Kissing and cuddling are both some beautiful things, and signs of true love! It's once they do "something else" that they totally misunderstand the point of being lovers!

It's so f**king depressing that every kind of love today, is concidered as something dirty today! It decreases the change, that I will ever make anyone believe me, when I am just looking for simple, innocint, and wonderful love! They will think I am a pervert, trying to do other things with them...

So you, tyc113, stay virgin because otherwise you will have guilt for life... at least I would!

This is my natural perspective of life, and I cannot accept this kind of human logic that is around nowadays... I'll do anything to change the world, because this is not a truth I will ever be acceptable torwards!

Ps. I am not religious at all, I am just being a natural human, with natural logic on the perspective of life... And I really f**king hope that I am not the only one who are like this! (Sorry, not trying to be offensive, just really mad, because I currently have no one on my side which should not be possible, according to how this world is supposed to be)

Oh, and btw. I am actually really happy that I have finally found someone who were like this :-) So sorry, if I sounded mad, I think you're a great person, tyc113, I just think that there's some details that you forgot, that maybe could give you an answer that you need on life :P

It's the fact that you are trying to avoid getting a lover that makes me a little bit disspointed, because that shows me that someone taught you wrong about what love means, I think, but I have no problems at all, if you don't want a relationship for other reasons! But just remember a relationship, is not what you might think it is :-)

I actually think, that getting a relationship is one of the best goals you can have in life! ...Unless it's that wrong kind of relationship that 95% of all relationships are today or something :(

Once a reject always a reject.

Dude, I honestly think that's the sweetest thing ever. Really. Not becoming a sex-hungry **** (can guys be *****? Probably.) is totally awesome in my mind. I'll admit I'm scared to death of losing my virginity; and now I was searching to see if there were others like me. Now that I know there is... I'm tearing up with relief. Literally. Thank you; I feel so much better now. Never lose sight of what you really want in life

I'm a guy too btw. I hear of these stories in which people abandon a partner just because of sexual matters which I find disturbing . Btw, i'm not asexual, but I can restrain such desires really well. I can only restrain them because I realized that sex is evil in every way, contributing to child birth, and being a result of nothing but hormones instead of true love. Lust/sex makes people look like ob<x>jects, mere possessions that can be "dumped" or "divorced" to save one's own happiness. Therefore one should look at everyone like a brother or sister. Child birth is also unacceptabe. There's no reason for people to have children, but they have a moral obligation to prevent suffering, and it is very likely that their child will suffer at some point in their future. There's always a chance that the child may lose his legs, or lose his eyes, or succumb to some disease, but if one doesn't have children, these risks cannot occur and htere is no chacne that one is risking human life. Also, when one has children, the parent only "loves" the children for biological reasons. It's not real love. Real love is the ability to sacrifice yourself for anyone, not to pass on your genes.

YES! Correct! Except that, we obviously can't just stop the human evolution! That would be pretty sad, right! :P Therefore I made an exception, which is, that you can only do it, for the sake of a new child to this world, but not for the sake of lust, cause, that's just wrong, and I think you know what I mean :)

Thank you for the answer, Light 55. I'll think a little about it.<br />
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Crystalvisionary, thanks for the comment on in-vitro, but I don't want kids at all.

Yeah... I think your parents were hoping for grand kids. On the bright side... if you ever do want kids you can do it without sex... its in-vitro fertilization... There are plenty of females that don't want sex... but still want kids to...

Thehighroad, thank you for the praise. I really do appreciate it. But there are some things that I must respond to. I don't really feel apathetic towards marital relationships at all, at least I think. But I don't think of wanting to get married because I don't want to have to have sex is all. It's not the marriage or the relationship that I don't care, it's the sexual part. Sex is just one of those things I'm not really into. That's why I don't want to be in a relationship. I don't know if there are people who just want a relationship without sex. I really don't have a wacky reason, to be honest, as to why I don't want to be physically intimate. I just don't really care to.

Hey Tyc.<br />
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I think you're on to something good man. I think its cool that you have such a focus on your hobbies and your music in particular. And being goal oriented in terms of career is something that more 20somethings need a big shot of. The question I have for you is why the apathetic approach to marital relationships in the future. I don't think you're unnatural. Its not fair to label someone and judge them for such a choice.<br />
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But I don't understand (not that my understanding it matters) why some people take an anti-sex or total aversion to a physically intimate relationship with a spouse. In general I've heard some very unhealthy attitudes to physical intimacy like "its nasty" or "don't think I'm attractive" and the like.<br />
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I certainly can respect a religious decision and I do get the desire for friendship with the opposite sex that doesn't lead to being sexual. <br />
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Help me out bro. :-)