Considering Celibacy At Twenty-eightTwenty-eight years I've been married and now I am considering celibacy. Why? To help me discern the whys I am reading "Demythologizing Celibacy" by William Skudlarek.
About six years ago I chose to sleep in a different room from my wife. Her deteriorating health required the use of a CPAP machine to help her sleep. For a number of months we slept together, we and the "machine". But my sleep was growing restless. I became aware that my respiration during the night was following the rhythm of the CPAP. Once aware of this unnatural rhythm, I chose to move to a different room. Our intimate and sexual relationship did not survive, bringing much emotional struggled and pain.
My wife's health continues to deteriorate. And I see no return to shared space or intimacy. So instead of allowing this struggle and pain to control my emotions...it seams that celibacy maybe a path to new joy, a "skillful means" to new spiritual strength.