The Road Less Traveled.

I have been chaste my entire life. I have not had sex of any kind whatsoever -- I’m a Virgin in the true sense of the word. There is really nothing unique about this. Despite what you may have heard, everyone is not doing it, and there are more Virgins around than you would think. But what separates me from most is that I have no plans to ever lose my Virginity, because I have chosen to follow a path of lifelong Chastity.

Many people reading this who are sexually active may wonder why someone would choose to never have sex -- something that is so fundamental, pleasurable, and necessary to their lives that they could not possibly imagine doing without. They picture how miserable they would be if they had to live in Chastity. But we are all different. And while some may see Chastity as “repressive,” I don’t find it that way at all. For me it is a life filled with joy, freedom, and clarity.

Of course, it helps that I was never a lustful person anyway. I like relationships and intimacy, but I do not desire the act of sex as most people do. I am not religious, but I do see Chastity as a “calling” in the sense that it is the lifestyle that most appeals to me. Getting married and raising a family is well and good… and being a sexually active single is fine if that’s what you want to do. But I feel the need to wholly devote my life to doing something that will truly make a difference, and living a Chaste life that is not restricted by the demands of a husband and children allows me to do just that. I figure that the institution of marriage won’t suffer without me -- there will always be enough people to keep it alive. And sex certainly isn’t going anywhere, so the human race need have no fear of extinction. But there are so few people to take up the mantle of Chastity and the tradition of devoting one’s life to the good of others that I feel compelled to do it because I can, and because that is where I feel I would make the most difference.

There are those that would disapprove of my choice believing that everyone has to live a certain way. There are even those who may see my lifestyle as some sort of threat to them personally. But as I said, we are all different. We all have our own wishes, desires, and abilities, and our own lives to live. My choice is my choice, and your choices are yours. Let’s just appreciate the fact that we all have the freedom to make them.

MissDaphne05EV MissDaphne05EV
36-40, F
14 Responses Sep 20, 2009

Hoorah for chastity!

Wow, this story....just wow :) i too have devoted my life to celibacy and i do understand your choice. Good Luck!

I know that this story is older, but I want to say that I love your choice and determination. I wish you much peace and happiness!

You remind me of Mother Theresa except you're not religious. But she did devote her whole life to helping people. That's a pretty awesome life choice. :)

MD I commend you for your long term site of your goal. i was a virgin until 18 half years old. my question is this you are making a decision ba<x>sed on what your choose. what did you choose from. nothing to nothing is not a hard choice. Not advocating the sex but if you have never experienced something how can you write i choose this over that you have no clue what you missed. with the right person it is beautiful and always a part of you. but if you have no sex drive may be what you see as a choice is the best so many on this site are in marriages that all of the sudden at one point their spouses decided they did not want sex of it is a chore. sex is a gift and if you don't have that in you then please by all means don't share it. but to say you choose there was no choice all you have done is made a decision to stay as you were when you were born. if there was choice to choose means you had vanilla ice cream and chocolate and you decide vanilla is what you like. yes we all are different and we could stand to learn from each one instead of a closed mind. thank you for your views

Missdaphne HAS made a choice. I decieved myself into getting married at 25, KNOWING full well that I should have remained chaste. At first, I enjoyed sex without guilt.It got to the point where I felt that sex was the only reason I existed though. There was no physical contact that he didn't turn it into sex and that is a much lonlier feeling than not having a partner at all. I realised after several years that my thoughts were only acceptable if they coincided with his and all was welI(for him) if I did what he told me to, which I slowly began to defy, because, regardless what the bible may say, men do not always make the best decisions to be submitted to. After 14 years, I'm divorced and have decided to pick up my celibacy where I left off and feel 100% more complete as a result. Guess I just needed to learn to trust my gut and have life kick me in the butt a little. But I did seriously know I was to be celibate and it wasn't based on belief or religion. It was KNOWING. So please don't make light of it when someone says it is their choice. I know all too well that it is a choice and to deny it can have life altering ramifications in a very negative way. Not enough time or space for all the details, but Thank God no children came of it. I've been blessed with a second chance to do as my soul directs me to and to have the insight to make good decisions for myself, without being too proud to ask others opinions.

I'm glad you found my story inspiring and I commend you on your path too. There aren't many people that choose it.<br />
<br />

Wow. Your story truly inspired me. Like you, I have always wanted to lead a life devoted to helping others and doing what good I can. That is much much much higher on my priority list than a marriage is. I would love to hear more about how you got to this point and what your life is like. Please do message me if you would like to talk about your experience :)

Curious as to what you do in helping others. Are you celibate after experiences, or always been?

I admire that about you. I don't know if I could last my whole life celibate, but I've made it to 25 at least. I feel like I am becoming more and more sexually frustrated, I don't think I could live my entire life celibate. Being this sexually frustrated isn't very fun at all, it's becoming quite bothersome.

Bravo! I love how you said everyone is different a couple times in this article. I always say the same thing myself when people start acting judgmental. And being chaste is a beautiful thing, much much better than the other way around. I was a virgin til I was 19 and a half years old, and I married my first, so I can see the beauty in being chaste.

Yes, there are Celibate marriages. I've been around the web to different celibacy-related sites and I sometimes come across people who claim to be in marriages with someone who is also Celibate. They say that they are quite happy.

I admire you for your stance on this topic; more people like you need to speak up. After my divorce I was celbate for six yrs. and you know what I didn't miss the sex! Now I am with a man ten yrs. younger than me and believe me.... he likes sex....alot! typical guy, huh? I guess after being violated as a little girl and other experiences in my life have led me to the conclusion, sex is SO over rated! If it wasn't for the birth of my three kids and being a parent I could of just done dandy without it!!!<br />
are there celebate marriages?? just wondered.

The only sexual activity I've ever done is ************. I personally think sex as it exists in our society is far more oppressive and limiting than celibacy. I want a relationship someday but I don't easily trust people or want intimacy. i may want a celibate relationship someday, I'm undecided and want to find people who won't pressure me to be eventually sexual or to give up ************/consideration of sex altogether.

I've heard of that book and I did intend to buy it. Funny, in a world where everyone is so interested in sex, I didn't think anyone else would have heard of it, let alone read it, besides me. Can you recommend any other good books on the subject?

Thank you for your comment, StudentofUnifyingLife. It took me a long time to get to this point. And though I still don't feel as though I have all the answers, I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go even though it can be a bit scary at times. There's a certain security that comes with going the marriage route because you pretty much know what to expect. But I really don't know anyone else besides me who has chosen lifelong chastity, so I feel like I'm boldly going where no one has gone before. But even though I'm nervous about what to expect, I believe in my heart that this is the right choice.