Please Don't Laugh...

I know, I know... you're probably thinking, "Who frickin asked you! TMI!" lol. But since others are sharing, I want to add something here too. Yes, I am boy-crazy... and I often join in the innuendos of my closest friends on here. And I'm highly passionate, know all of my sexuality, know what I want and don't want. And I'm huge lover of intimacy. All true. :-)

But, I am a celibate woman, by choice. Now, please don't laugh at this part, even though I'm snickering now. LOL! But, I haven't had sex in over eight years. =p

My first and only experience with sex, was my rape at age 21. Not that this is the reason, not at all. I am a survivor of that and it holds no bearing on my relationships or my libido. The only thing that I can say is, I have a desire to only have sex with those I am in love with. And that takes time. Many guys couldn't even wait the three weeks of dating, before ruining it, before I had a chance to be intimate with them. :-/

So, I am celibate... until I find that special someone, who I can trust and fall in love with. I did fall in love with someone on EP, it didn't work out... had it did and he was able to, I so would have been intimate with him. Because I trust him, fully, and loved him with all of my heart and soul. ;-)

Right now, I'm not looking for dating. I'm just relaxing with friendships. But, make no mistake. In spite of this groups claims, I am not frigid. Heehee! When I meet the right guy someday, and have a real and mature relationship with him, this story will be invalid. :-D

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14 Responses Oct 15, 2009

I feel the same way. One of the main reasons I am celibate is because I have not found a man I truly liked or cared for. Once I find a man that makes me feel comfortable I will be happy to open my legs.

trust me u are very smart to want to wait on love and not jumping into bed with guys u date thumbs up girl. i did it once we dated for 2 months after me and my first love and person who took my virginity stop talking he was really sex crazy so 2 months was like a year for him, and on his birthday i just felt sorry for him and a bit over powered and gave in, worst mistake it felt like rape he was brutal even when he tried to be gentle like trying to kiss me it was just not right. so lesson learn from then i have promised myself that i would never compromise giving up sex just to have love. because i have felt it before and nothing feels better than knowing u and that person buit something and through all of that love and trust your bodies can communicate in such a passionate way, its unbelievable. even sometimes i am not pleased,in pleasing him makes me feel good yea i know i must be a crazy woman. lol

Well, I would suggest if you truly want to wait for the 'right' guy that you have real chemistry with to stop talking so much about sex. I can't find a post you've made that isn't 'sex' and 'sex' and more 'sex'. If you want a guy to be interested in more, then maybe you should develop more to talk about. Then he will actually have something to learn about you other than 'sex'. Take a art class, or buy an XBox.

Hi Shadow 28. I really admire your recognition to your self worth. You are a princess who decide to be a conquer instead of a whiner . I have also been waiting for the special someone because she is precious to me. worth all my life to wait for her. so nice to have a EP friend like you. I am proud of you.

why people so obsessed with sex?

Trust in a relationship is the #1 for me so I can undestad what you're saying. Good sex is more than just 'the act'.

You are doing well, so keep it up! The only ones laughing are those who probably drop their knickers for a drink and then wonder why their lives are so empty! However sex is NOT just sex! It can be scratching an itch (never saw the point in that myself) or making love. You are simply choosing to wait for love. Good on you girl!

good for you! Trust in someone is very important. no matter what guys think, a long term relationship is not all about sex

How do you convey a standing ovation online?... i don't know so i'l say hats off to you. <br />
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I was also celibate for 8+ years, wit the intention of of waiting for marriage to even kiss a man, but then I started dating my best friend and waiting did not seem like a reasonable option (or we could keep our hand off of each other).<br />
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Having experienced purely sexual relationship, and sexually pure relationships has given me a lot of knowledge about relationship and what it takes to make to work. I think waiting for love is more than admirable, but is a wise choice. I think that it helps to screen out weak relationships and false intentions.<br />
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When you find your love the experience will be so incredible that it will be more than worth the wait...Good luck...I suspect you don't need any.

Hi Shadow, looks to me you are dating a lot of creeps,mammas boys,pansies or just plain idiots. The first time you meet a man that ignores you flat,but he make sure that you know about him,he stays in the background, but gives you a friendly nod ,now that one is the dangerous one. Good bye....celib,,,...Hello sex "

Congrats Shadow 28, you are very wise! I am in the same boat as you. It's funny now when men say, that's no fun..or can I just drop by tonight and spend time, LOL oh yes sureee. I am clear with them about where I am in life and I too am not frigid one bit. I congratulate you on your endeavor and strength. Love is important and all else comes later when it's time as well!!!

Hey Shadow! Only problem is I married someone else :( But have been talking to the one I mention for 3 months now on the phone, which is how I know how he's been relationship-wise all these years (none that is enough for him).<br />
Anyway...enough about me. You will find someone who will knock your socks (and other clothing articles) off!

I was in the same place as you when I was your age. You just get used to deflecting all the offers. (Although I did have a FWB for awhile but that's a whole other story). But I could never get into the one-night stand thing; just didn't care for the idea of getting into bed with a stranger or someone I didn't even like a whole lot. Then someone came along that rocked my world and neither one of us has found any equal since then (over 20 yrs ago!). So when it's right, it is indescribable!<br />
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You will find it and I'm glad you don't want to settle for less than what you really want.

Oh yeah! Sex with someone you care for very much (love? everyone defines that for themselves) is so f'ing fantastic (pun intended!). Definitely better than just the "scratching the itch" thing.