I Have Been Celibate For A Year Now.
It was never intended, though I have made myself commit to celibacy at a couple of occasions, but I never made pass the 6 months mark. But I guess things happens, and you change in ways that is unexpected.
I used to think I could never go without - as I have always been in relationships, and was accustomed to 'sex on tap'. But I also realized how my association with sex is not exactly healthy - I tend to have sex a lot cause I was bored, in need to escape and to numb myself. I often get incredibly stressed afterwards. So when my emotions completely shut down last year, I thought I would never go near another person. But I did. I didn't have sex, but we were certainly intimate. But for whatever reason, I just couldn't have sex with him. And in most ways, I am glad.
I don't feel that need to be celibate any more. But I also don't have a need to have sex, unless it feels right - completely.
I find having been celibate allowed me the clarity that I needed, as well as time to shift my not so healthy association with sex and romance. It's given me the option of reclaiming my personal power and to redevelop my sexuality as my own, not as what society wanted us, females to be. I finally feel like a person, not just a sex kitten that is always cute and sexual.