I Have Been Celibate For A Year Now.

It was never intended, though I have made myself commit to celibacy at a couple of occasions, but I never made pass the 6 months mark. But I guess things happens, and you change in ways that is unexpected.

I used to think I could never go without - as I have always been in relationships, and was accustomed to 'sex on tap'. But I also realized how my association with sex is not exactly healthy - I tend to have sex a lot cause I was bored, in need to escape and to numb myself. I often get incredibly stressed afterwards. So when my emotions completely shut down last year, I thought I would never go near another person. But I did. I didn't have sex, but we were certainly intimate. But for whatever reason, I just couldn't have sex with him. And in most ways, I am glad.

I don't feel that need to be celibate any more. But I also don't have a need to have sex, unless it feels right - completely. 

I find having been celibate allowed me the clarity that I needed, as well as time to shift my not so healthy association with sex and romance. It's given me the option of reclaiming my personal power and to redevelop my sexuality as my own, not as what society wanted us, females to be. I finally feel like a person, not just a sex kitten that is always cute and sexual.


watchfulsoul watchfulsoul
26-30, F
8 Responses Apr 7, 2010

Guitar, <br />
Sounds like you're finally listening to your feelings and respecting them - good for you for making a choice for you. I am sure it will benefit you from within:)<br />
all the best - xo

I haven't had sex with a lot of people, but the times I have it was either because I felt like that is what I should be doing as an adult, or I wanted to feel some kind of deep intimacy, even though it wasn't real. I have been unintentionally celibate...never happy about it and always wanting a relationship, but this time around it's my choice. I hope I come out better on the other side.

I slipped.

not having sex until it feels completely right? i couldn't agree more.

Hey I think that's just awesome! Sex for sex' sake is rarely a good thing long-term.

I understand what u mean ....I agree with ur decision.Well done!!!

wow, everything you just said I relate to completely. well said! :)

Sounds like you're all grown up...the right lessons at the right time..great job.