For as long as I can remember I have not been able to maintain happiness in my life! I have been diagnosed w dysthymia a fancy word for chronic depression. Basically, life is enjoyed only a day at a time if I am lucky...I cannot remember the day I truly felt HAPPINESS...therefore I deep think all the time or I just keep myself upfloat and don't put much weight onto things! i fought the idea of medication for a very long time thru therapy tho it was highly recommended...I guess I am a sole believer in mind over body tho this time its in my mind...so what do you call that! Anyway I gave in to the meds only when I couldn't bare the weight of the sadness it made me feel very ill! I love to live my life as it pleases me as if I would die tomorrow....it leaves a lot of room for adventures and lots of laughs...makes u wonder whether I enjoy them or not!!??? me too! I wonder about it all the time! its all short lived! This disorder (i guess it would be categorized as such) is common and also many people go without realizing that their are others like me!!!