Ok So..

I am an emotional rollercoaster. I've been a happy person up till my parents potential divorce my freshman year of high school. Ever since then, nothing has been the same. I never felt happy, and always had that hint of sadness in whatever I did. Finally after begging to my parents that I need help, I went to therapy my senior year and was diagnosed with dysthymia.

At first, I was so happy that this had a name, and that other people had this, so I am not the only one. I was in therapy for my senior year, and went to a in-state college 3 hours away from home. As I sit in my dorm room, lights off, hearing the girls in the hall laughing, I came across this page and relized that I need support. My friends don't understand my mood swings, and I never feel happy, despite what I do.

This year has been full of change, some for the better, and I hoped that my depression would somehow disapper. But it's not going away, I really try to live life one day at a time, but during that day I'm up and down. My ups are not that high, but my lows are really low. I'm not on medication, but am wondering if I should start taking some. Just today I was really happy that I got all my work done, then all the sudden I'm really mad and just want to be by myself. My friends really try to understand, but I can't explain.

Sometimes I get the feeling like I shouldn't exsit, even though I'm not putting forth the effort to be happy. I just know that as soon as I get happy I get depressed soon after, and I don't like feeling that way. Any advice, stories, or just anything would be so helpful. Thank you for understanding, I'm just a girl trying to live my life depression free.

hoofy712 hoofy712
18-21
2 Responses Feb 23, 2009

hi <br />
im suffering from dysthymia for almost 20 years now .. for a young girl you have understood the disease well . if possible get a "good" psychiatrist who is reasonably communicative as medication may help . <br />
also light exercise every day will be helpful <br />
if interested pls add me as friend here <br />
best wishes

Lets be friends i'm going through similiar situation, im in college too but my separte parents is a lil mor permenant, my aunt who is like my mom passed away at the start of school wanna talk