Friendliness ...

I am a cheerful person most of the time. Saying that I work hard to be, makes it seem as if I'm fighting against unhappiness all the time, but that's not so.  I do try to be happy, to crack jokes and to be lighthearted with people.  I especially like to do this to people who perhaps are not naturally friendly or easy to get along with. 

One example is a young woman I'm working with.  She seems to have an awful reputation in the office for being generally unhelpful and not at all friendly and quite aloof. 

The truth is that she's just not a people-person.  She doesn't have easy social skills and small talk and chatter and general "get along" chemicals just don't seem to be in her system. 

So I make an extra effort with her.  She is quite hard work and sometimes speaks in quite a harsh way and off-handed manner.  But I persevere with her.  Today I was in the kitchen making us some tea and there was a large box of chocolates on the work surface for staff to help themselves to.  They had been bought by someone who had had a birthday at the weekend.

Well I grabbed a handful of these chocolates and took them back to share them with my difficult colleague.  I let her choose which ones she liked and to hear her laugh and relax was such a pleasure and we had a good sociable day together.  Sometimes, people have to be drawn out of themselves and it takes a bit of effort.

I understand that not everyone has a lot of patience.  But it seems to me that if you have to work alongside and closely with someone you need to get along and be pleasant.  It's worth trying to bring out the softer side in someone's nature ... we all have one ... it's just a little well hidden in some folks.

womaninbliss womaninbliss
51-55, F
10 Responses Nov 29, 2012

I'm with you. Some people present difficult cases and it is always good to remember that conversing in a friendly way is not something that comes naturally to everyone. I think you found a good ice breaker, which is sometimes all it takes. I applaud your effort. You just made your work environment more pleasant for --everyone probably by your simple but really kind gesture. Bravo.

You do bring out the bliss in people! Thanks for writing this. It added a little sunshine to my day (without the calories of chocolate)!

I try to do the same but got disappointed in the past but you're right, we should put more effort into interacting with less sociable people.

Oh, it is sooo worth it, Blissy. And when they do respond positively, it makes the effort worth it. And when some really gets difficult... *throws chocolate at extremely difficult people*

Yes, chocolate is the great leveller ... thing is that I have actually met one or two people who DON'T like it ... (I know, unthinkable in my world) ... but they do exist ... scary.

I tend to be like this too, although perhaps not in such an outgoing way. I just believe that more can be done when people are in good moods.

There's one guy on my team who's a particular grump and seems to enjoy arguing about every little point. I haven't learned yet how to break through to him. It is my mission.

Yes, I love a challenge too! There are some hopeless cases though I'm sure ... but most people have a soft centre ... it's about finding how to get to it!

She sounds defensive, like she is expecting the worst in people...sounds like you found her soft centre and the chocolate melted away her defences. Sweet! ;)

I'd say you're right about the chocolate!

I'm so happy to know you - y'know that?

Maybe the time will come when the risk to stay tight in her bud will be more painful than the risk for her to blossom. That would be something, huh.

It certainly would ... you never know. Thank you.

This is sooo "spot on" Bliss! Awesome!! So like you.... :) It doesn't hurt a bit to reach out to someone and sometimes the reward of doing so is HUGE for BOTH folks!

I just don't like to give up on folks sierra ... I just think a little effort is needed that's all.

I totally believe that too....I admit..I could be better in the patience department with some people... Maybe in time I'll get there....Something to aim for in the New Year... :)

Just lovely WIB... & it strikes a cord too. :)

Thanks hon.

Speaking as one of the introverted, I appreciate when someone takes the effort to interact with me. They could easily just take my outward demeanor (reticence) as misanthropy. Luckily, there are people like you to see beyond that.

thank you sciguy. I do appreciate that everyone is different and that it doesn't suit us all to be outgoing and friendly. I can be very focussed and quiet when I'm busy, but I do love to laugh and interact with colleagues. It's very easy to overlook the quieter folks and to assume that they don't want to join in at all ... but I think it's sometimes down to a lack of confidence and just basic social skills. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt anyway!