No Desire For Children WhatsoeverI'm sure other people who are like me have gotten this - a lot of times when you express disdain for having children of your own, the response is complete confusion or repulsion. They either just cannot figure out how in the world you could possibly not want a child of your own and insist that eventually your biological clock will have its way with you, or they assume you must be some horrible monster who hates children and laughs at the suffering of starving and slave labored children. One man even told me my bf and I were selfish for not wanting children - what?
I would just like to set ii straight , at least for myself - no I do not hate children. I may not be as fond of *your* children as you want me to be, but I wish them no harm. I acknowledge that children bring fulfillment to many people's lives and that children have a multitude of wonderful qualities such as cuteness (most of the time), funny naive Kodak moments, unbridled honesty and emotions, and they normally come equipped with a source of unconditional love for their parent(s).
However, I also acknowledge that children also come with a multitude of responsibilities, none of which I would like to take on. I praise good parents because I just don't have the patience to raise and mold a child who goes through stages of whining, temper tantrums, neediness, and extreme vulnerability. Parenting is a 24/7 stressful job and I don't want it. Parenting is also an incredibly expensive job, which I don't want. The negatives outweigh the positives, for me. I will have felt no loss or emptiness at having "failed" to continue my family's genes into the next generation.
And do NOT tell me how I feel. Just because YOU see having children as ultimate joy and fulfillment, does not mean that everyone else does and it does not mean that people like me are simply misguided. Heaven forbid that humans be complex and varied with individual goals, preferences, and predispositions.
Lastly, just because I feel this way does not mean that if I were to ever become a parent, that I would be neglectful. I cannot say whether or not I would keep the child as I've never been in that position, but if I chose to keep the child, I would be the best parent I could be. Just because I do not want to have children, does not mean that if i do have children, i will not love them. That's all.
SpilledSecrets 22-25, F 9 Responses 7 Jan 27, 2011