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The Same, Only Different

I see some people have mentioned that they get asked when they will start having children, which is a tactless question to begin with. When you're married to a same-sex partner, you get the question even more, I think. I have no problem telling people that we don't want children. I used to explain why, but then I realized I did this to make the questioners feel more comfortable. Now I just stare at them. I don't care how long the silence lasts. Let them dig themselves out of their own hole. The hardest part is keeping a "poker face" while I maintain eye contact. I really just want to burst out laughing sometimes.

SunnieDelite SunnieDelite 31-35, T 4 Responses Apr 12, 2009

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Dear fivecolouredhair,<br />
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I am sorry that you have been robbed of the choice to have children in the classical way. I hope that you do choose to adopt one day, perhaps even step-children. Anyone who puts forth the energy to truly desire a child should have one; so many have them and do not respect them, treat them with love, and truly cherish them. Good luck to you.

SunnieDelite, I salute you. It is such a tactless question. One of my very close friends has been married for over ten years, and they have no children. I do not know the reasons why. She has never told me; I have never asked.<br />
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She used to dread going to company functions where the other "wives of" would ask her, "Do you have any children?" Until we worked out a good stock answer: "No."<br />
<br />
If people are rude enough to pry beyond a bald "no", she is entitled to ignore their questions and give them what we call "the freeze". We realized that she was anticipating their questions, and would try and volunteer an excuse or answer, "no, but...well... erm...".

THANK YOU for making this choice. I never, ever want kids, and I've taken steps to ensure it never happens. With over 6 BILLION people choking the planet, it's so irresponsible to add to the problem!

I think it's really a shame that you'd try to prevent yourself from having kids<br />
I would pay a million dollars to be able to even have them<br />
haha, im sixteen fricking years old and i have to go throughout my entire life not even having a choice.<br />
Don't you see how lucky you are?<br />
I'll never be that lucky.