You're Childless By Natures Choice...

When I read all these posts by people who want to justify their own childlessness I almost have to laugh. 

"I just want to enjoy my own life," or "I don't want to bring children into such a terrible world", or my personal favorite, "I really don't do well with kids."  What a kick! 

Really people, get a life.  Who cares if you don't have kids.  Try thinking of it as your own personal little Darwin award.  Nature selected you to NOT contribute to the gene pool.  Good or bad, it doesn't matter.  You've been chosen.  You only think it's your choice. 

Nature want's humanity to go to the stars, and you haven't been invited along.  Whether it's a starving mother in equatorial Africa, or Sara Palin, nature wants aggressive breeders, which you ain't, baby.  You've been chosen for extinction because you're missing something humanity needs in the gene pool. 

So quit trying to make it sound like you've made some higher choice - you haven't.  The choice was made for you, and you just don't get it.  The reason everyone you know is aghast at your "choice" to not have children is because it's a goal in opposition to natures intent - except in your case.  Nature was looking for people with a desire to pop out babies by the dozen, and you missed the cut.  You've been weeded out. 

I have seven children and eighteen grandchildren, so far.  My genes will probably go to the stars some day, along with Sara Palin's and that mother in Africa.  As for you people, enjoy you life and then extinctionhood. 


Seaman2 Seaman2 61-65 11 Responses Sep 27, 2009

Your Response


You are one incredibly judgmental, arrogant human being. Just as people choose to have children, so there are people who choose not to have them. How dare you go around calling those of us who have made our choice "selfish"? Go crawl back under the rock you came from and leave the rest of us alone.

Nature is not anthropomorphic, you tell of nature as a christians tell of god. I do not and will never have children simply because they annoy me to no end

It seems like choosing to have children is the more narcissistic choice. Why did you have create a "mini-me"? to create a person who would have to love you? to have some kind of insurance against being alone in your old age? I'm so sick of people saying that people who choose not to have children are selfish. Does that mean every parent was selfish until they had children? Of course not, that's silly. Selfish is having a child and not spending the time, love, and effort to do a good job raising her. Selfish is having children in order to create a sense of purpose in your life. That is too much pressure on a kid. You know what many people who have children actually gave it a lot of thought before hand? Typically people who have chosen not to have children have really had to wrestle with the decision because it does go against the norm. Our culture has many rituals to affirm a person's choice to have a child. Ask me how many baby showers I have attended. But where is the affirmation of my choice not to have a child. Having made that choice is a significant milestone in my life...where is the support and affirmation for me?

People can be so quick to say "Why don't you have kids?" I would like to see the reaction of a parent if I approached them and said "Name all your reasons for having children". Maybe some parents are threatened by the childfree because they didn't necessarily know they had a choice about whether or not to have children. Having children because it was expected doesn't seem like a carefully crafted choice based on one's personal strengths and challenges.

I can't count the number of times someone (usually a woman) has said to me "You don't know love until you've had a child." Really? I don't agree. I have known profound love. I've nurtured people and made a difference in their lives. I didn't have to give birth to those people in order to love them.

I am aware I am missing something by not having children of my own. And truthfully, that is a loss that should be mourned. But there are many experiences I will never know in this lifetime. For example, I will never know what it feels like to be a man. I will never know what it is like to be a world-class ballerina, I will never conduct a symphony or fly a jet plane. I am sure there is a lot of joy to be had in all of those experiences. But being a grown-up means realizing that we are all a product of our choices. Sometimes choosing one thing precludes other options. One must live with the consequences. I would much rather regret never having a child, than to have a child and regret having done so. The former affects only me, the latter would affect the child. Which brings me to another point...

I'm sick of people saying that childfree people hate kids. I don't hate children. In fact, I have devoted my career to protecting vulnerable children. I just don't want to make them the focus of my personal life. I don't want to perpetuate the dysfunctional dynamics of my family of origin.

There are many spiritual mothers who have never given birth...Mother Theresa comes to mind. She missed out on having children by choosing to become a nun....or did she? Think about it.

I'm no Mother Theresa, but I want to contribute to my community and my world. I don't believe having children is the only legacy I can leave. I think being a kind person who carefully considers her choices and does her best not to harm anyone can have an impact in the world whether she becomes a mother or not.

Any baton carrier is better than the non-starter, hoolahoop.

I said nothing about individual superiority, or even the value thereof. Any geneticist can tell you nature doesn't work that way. Some are great, some are terrible, but all get a chance to demonstrate their worth.

As I said, my genes will go to the stars along with those of the starving African mother - I made no distinction as to relative value, other than to say that the aggressive breeder wins out.

That is the great decider. Flys are doing fine, and will probably accompany us. I don't judge their quality, and neither are you qualified to do so, although you seem intent on just that.

I agree with your assessment of democracy - the result of the last Presidential election being case in point.

You don't like trailer parks? I have no opinion since I've never had the pleasure, but I bet there are plenty of good people living in them. None of them up to your high standards, though, I guess.

Your personal attack against me is duely noted for whatever value it may have. I disagree that my opinion is an unfair judgement. Nothing I've said is untrue.

Apparently my dialog was not too boring, or you wouldn't have felt so compelled to respond.

oh please come on. are u seriously saying that being a breeder makes you a better baton carrier for nature? Interesting argument, at first, however if you look at mankind you will notice that people alive are made up or all sorts. Those all sorts are not necessarily the best sorts. To my mind one of the biggest fallings of democracy - the one with the most votes wins. Mmmmm what a load of nonsense. One million morons voting just equals one hellave stupid outcome. The masses are just that masses. Many does not equal quality. So maybe people will survive and move onto inhabit other planets in the universe , great, but unless there is some intelligence and quality in the mankind moving into the stars we will just be left with a trailer park universe which sounds to me is where you will most comfortable.

Your argument is so pathetic but that could be due to the fact that your body has been robbed of all its nutrients by the little suckers you gave birth to. Shame .

The only reason I responded to your mail and have been so rude to you is because you come in here and berate people who have perfectly valid paths in life that do not entail having children. You have judged others , unfairly I might add, and for that I judge and scorn your cr*p. be gone please you are boring.

"Nature has a number of ways into tricking people into doing things contrary to their best interest but for the greater good, and I'm happy to be smart enough to avoid most of them."

I'm saving this comment for my personal collection, Phage. It's a gem!

No, of course it doesn't offend me. What does offend though is narcissism in the guise of "the greater good".

If someone doesn't want to have children because they think the enjoyment of their life would be impacted and they consider their personal gratification above all else, that's fine. The last thing I would want is for someone who may not be tuned into raising a family to attempt to do so, risking ruining the lives of children.

Have said that, let's not pretend that child rearing is not the natural state for married couples. Since we're all here because most of our ancestors believed that was their primary task in life, I accept that prima facia.

But it's ignorant to pretend indignation and/or outrage because your friends and relatives are turned off by your narcissism.

They all realize the truth in what I've been saying, and it's as though you've just told them your ovaries or testicles dried up and fell off. What parent wouldn't be disappointed? They suddenly find themselves next to the last link in a chain stretching back to the beginning of mankind. And it's not as if there was a catastrophe, such as your premature death. Their lineage is to be snuffed out by your "choice". You think there shouldn't be resentment??

It's hard for them to be as objective as I am. I see you for what you are, and agree with the removal of your genes from the pool. But they probably don't see you as a genetically defective human, they just think you're being selfish.

As for your not to well thought out contention that the "failure to initiate procreation" gene would have been bred out of the pool long ago, I would respond by saying if that were true wouldn't the same be true of homosexuality?

As the planetary population continues to grow, warfare and ecological problems are something we will have to overcome, no doubt. But rising above these obstacles is all a part of it - we MUST achieve these things or perish as a species - this is a part of the test of fitness for survival.

The "lemming thing" is an analogy which can be understood by all - it wasn't meant to be literal.

Wow, the idea of people not wanting children really offends you, doesn't it?

Serving the purpose of the species (not of nature, if you want to anthropomorphise nature enough to say it has a purpose that purpose would be one of balance, which humans tend to disrupt) sounds soooo great. Sort of like dying for your country, it's good for other people, but doesn't really benefit you much.

I guess if making a tiny contribution to the species is worth sacrificing years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars, that's great. I'm inclined to value my happiness over all other things, and certainly more than a tiny contribution to humanity as a whole. You may think that's shallow, but I find self-sacrifice in all forms to be anathema. Nature has a number of ways into tricking people into doing things contrary to their best interest but for the greater good, and I'm happy to be smart enough to avoid most of them.

Your argument that people who self-select not to have children are evolutionarily unfit is accurate only if the desire not to procreate is genetic, which I find unlikely as such genes would have been bread out of our gene pool long ago. Nor is it the genetically flawed people who tend not to procreate--there are plenty of genetically flawed (stupid, ugly, or otherwise afflicted with a genetic disease) people popping out kids left and right. In modern times especially intelligent people tend not to have large families due to the availability of birth control.

Your assumption that increased population pressure will eventually force humanity to the stars is not totally wrong, but must be weighed against the fact that increased population pressure increases the damage to our ecosystem (which we cannot yet live without), and increases the rate of warfare. You're old enough to remember MAD when it was fairly new. I assure you, it hasn't gone anywhere, and an apocalyptic war isn't going to get us to the stars.

Oh, and the lemmings thing--do you research. The documentary about lemmings jumping to their death was proven to be a hoax ages ago.

How will I make myself happier?? That's the great question in your life? (Try eating ice cream for breakfast lunch and dinner, stay tuned to GSN, and ********** 12 times a day - get back to me if that does it for you.)

That's the shalowest question I've ever heard. You must be eight years old.

That's really funny. And really off target.

I'm not here to "do the earth a favor". The earth doesn't need or want my favors or any one elses for that matter. It's been doing fine on it's own for billions of years - creating conditions that result in killing off various species from time to time. My favors are for humanity, earth be damned!

What we need less of in this world is humans who think we need less humans. They are the misguided ones, which is why they are rejected for procreation. This type of mindset needs to be weeded out, and Natures process of selection is taking care of that.

Narcissism , the benchmark of your life, is an undesirable human trait, anathema to the breeder type. Certainly you have a choice - you could do something totally contrary to your nature and have children - but why would you?

As I said, you THINK you have choices, but is that a fact? Maybe that little trigger in you brain that tells you not to have children isn't your choice. You're the lemming leaping over the cliff - and all the way there you thought you were acting of your own free will.

Less humans will not accomplish what is needed. Less humans on earth will only allow those living there to survive long enough in relative comfort for the species to be eliminated by an unavoidable and catastrophic natural disaster.

That's not the intent of nature. Nature wants our species to survive. Nature wants us to be uncomfortable here, so that we will look for a way to expand out into the universe. Being here, being unable to leave, causes us to be an endangered species.

Someday this earth will end, forever. But our species will survive, because those like you are constantly being weeded out - and the rest of us will have moved on, leaving "graveyard earth".

No, people DO have choices. For example, people have the choice of using a condom when having sex.

We need less humans in this world, and you are not doing the earth a favour.