Mother , Loving Name, I Will Never Know.Since , I was a little girl , I so wanted to be a mother. As I got a bit older, I found I wanted to be a wife as well. But I was too shy to talk to anyone unless they spoke to me first. Time didn't make this better, but instead it got worse. I found since my adoptive mother passed away one of my problems wasn't just shyness but actually social phobia. With this comes the lack of friendship and all hopes of becoming a wife and mother. As I get older the harder it is to want to live and be part of this world. I just want to go home, to the one place I know I am loved. I don't have an extended family. I only have my father. He is in his 70s, so I will be losing him with in the next 30yrs. I know what my future holds. Sadly, me left in the world alone.
Due to my problems I am on SSI , so adoption is out of the question. So once again I must question my existence of being in this world. I don't know how many times I have cried over all of this and more.