26 And Working To Be Happy Accepting A Childless Life

Hi everyone. At age 7 I was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, a hereditary terminal illness. It wasn't until recently, and after getting married to my high school sweetheart, that wishing I could be a mother has kicked in. Women with CF cannot usually have children unless their health is very stable and considered "mild" to moderate. Mine is stable but severe. The life expectancy for a cf patient is about 37 years. I watch my friends start having their first children and it has begun to tug at me that I am not going to be a mother, carry a child for 9 months or any of that. In the past we discussed adoption but ultimately decided it wasn't a good idea for financial reasons, because we only both recently graduated, but also because I do not want to one day leave my husband with the burden of being a widowed parent on top of livi with his own grief. I also do not feel it is right to the child to have to see a parent get sicker and sicker and eventually lose them. It took most of my teen years but I have accepted what road might lay ahead of me, but that basic desire to have a child is still there. At 21 I had a tubal ligation after some deep consideration and counseling from my doctor. (If a cf woman were to get pregnant and she isnt healthy enough to carry it she may put herself and the fetus in danger). My husband has been understanding from day one when we met 11 years ago, but I know deep down he wishes we could be parents. I hope to learn from reading other stories on this site that there is more to life.
Moretolife4787 Moretolife4787
1 Response Dec 7, 2012

Dealing with somewhat of a similar situation, and I do not mean to overstep any boundaries, but I think there is something you and your husband could consider that would be helpful in countless ways. Why not look into being foster parents? There are kids stuck in these systems that could really benefit from someone like you who has love to give away. :)