Clock Is Slowing Down!

My husband and I were married fairly young for now in days. I was 24 he was 22, so we were young and decided to wait to have children. Well 13 years into our marriage and 10 years of trying we are still childless. We tried fertility treatments, which got us no where. Then we decided to move so we stopped trying for a bit. Now we are trying things somewhat naturally. I am getting fertility acupuncture, some days I think I feel the difference, but then I wondering if that is just me getting my hopes up to high. We cannot afford adopting and I feel like our time is running out. I am almost 40 and I said that I would not try after 40. So how do you move on from here, knowing you will never be a parent or grandparent? That was the one thing in my life that I knew I always wanted. So with no child to hold, I sit holding all my hopes and dreams, watching them fade more and more.

nochildtohold nochildtohold
36-40
5 Responses Mar 14, 2009

As hard as it is, if you want children, please do consider adoption. I know it's expensive and it's emotionally trying. Believe me, I know. Maybe telling your story on the internet as a way to raise money...is the way to go. Beg and plead. Some people (like me) would sympathize. I know it sounds odd, but if you really want it, there must be a way! I want to wish you all love and luck on Mother's Day - there are many in your situation; you just have to find them. They will understand.

People who have not gone through this situation and quick to suggest adoption, foster parenting, etc. The truth is that THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE TO BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN. We were all meant to have children of our own and not look after other people's children. But because the world we live in is not perfect we find ourselves in this helpless, hopeless and desperate situation.<br />
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At 43 now I dread becoming old and childless. Being a man I lost the pride it would give to "handover" what I have acquired to my son or daughter. I live such a lonely life. Only God knows what lies ahead of me and others like me.<br />
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But I console myself by thinking that if I can only hold on for a few more years it will all be gone when mother death visits. That's where it all ends, whether you have children or not. I came alone and will leave alone. Thank God for those who will enjoy their children during their lifetime.<br />
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May the peace of God be with you during these hard times.

This is a great adoption website...<br />
I love it!<br />
Please give them a chance if you decide to look into adoption =)<br />
www.abrazo.org

I am going thru a similar situation. I feel completely hopeless because we cannot afford adoption either. I am about to lose my job too. I am trying to find a local support group but there is none in my area. That is why I am here. There is an online site called childlessnotbychoice.com that you can try. Very few people understand what we are going through and we need to support each other. This is not easy. It is very hard to let go of our dreams of being mommy since you were a little girl.

I am sorry...this must be very hard and cannot even imagine being in your shoes...<br />
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Have you considered how many children in the world that you can focus on - give so much time and attention to - becuase you do not have your own? I am certain that where ever it is you live, there are children who could desperately use the obvious love you have....foster parenting, mentoring, volunteering....all things you can do to have the joy of children...please do not think that because you cannot have "your own" that are you are doomed to a life without children and grandchildren...they are out there...and they need you....peace...SS