Just Found Out

i'm just dying right now, finished the 7th ivf treatment and negative, just found out one of my best friends is pregnant. every single failed treatment was followed by a friend becoming pregnant, so i guess i should be used to it by now! but i'm not, i find it very cruel, who is behind all this cruelty?

how can anybody believe in anything?


couldhavebeenolivia couldhavebeenolivia
41-45, F
8 Responses Dec 7, 2009

You know that is what the enemy wants. He wants us to not believe in God. There is a story in the Old Testament about Hannah she couldn't get pregnant either. But she prayed and when she was praying the priest thought she was drunk. She wasn't. Then she got pregant. Now Abrahams wife couldn't have children either. It wasn't until her late 90's that is age that she got pregant. God promised her. See even though that was late and he was about 100 years old. God does things at times to have people see. You can't do anything without him to show miracles. So pray read your bible. Don't let anyone or anything let you detour from that. Now I will tell you this. I am married. My husband has been working on his business so he is at home. Now don't get me wrong he works very hard. Now I work outside the house so I am the one that gets the check. Now my hours have gone from working 6 days a week to 5 to 4 now 3 days. My hours went from 50 something to 31 to 31 to 27 to now 23 hours a week. Now we pay rent,cell bill, and internet and then things we need. We have our daughter. Now we pay our tithes we do go to church. But we stay in our word and we trust God. Faith without works is dead. Now our relationship has gotten stronger.

Please look into fostercare !!!! There are babies to teens waiting for people like you who truly want them.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this and you are feeling hopeless. I have had a similar journey and never imagined I would have to live with these feelings of loss. I don't have any words of wisdom for you but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. That's one of the worst things I noticed for myself is that no one wants to talk about it and you feel isolated. You're not though. You are in my thoughts.....

I know how you feel and it's hard to stay positive. I was always the postive one out of myself and my husband, but sometimes you have just had enough!<br />
If you want to be negative and angry at the world, just find a way to express it - don't suppress these feelings because it just makes it so much worse.<br />
That's why this site is so good - you can share with people who know exactly what it feels like.<br />
You're not alone - we're all here with you!<br />

I just wanted to share this with you and I hope that it will give you some hope.<br />
<br />
I had my first son at almost eighteen years old.The birth was natural and everything went very well.Over a period of the next twelve years...I had three miscarriages...one causing me to hemorrhage very badly.The doctors(more than one)told me that I would never be able to have another baby.After those twelve years...I became pregnant again and that baby is now eighteen and will be graduating this year in the top percentage of his class.<br />
<br />
Even when it seems like all the odds are against us and we want to give up...our hopes and dreams can still come true!<br />
<br />
I wish you the very best and good luck!

you are such an amazing person , somehow I can tell :) ..<br />
I can understand to some point you saying (I just feel there's nobody/nothing out there listening to me, and I find that scary, I'm all on my own and I wish I could believe in god or in angels, as I used to do before they stopped listening ) .. I was there too .. but I knew that with time , faith is probably the only thing you need to always keep feeding in yourself , otherwise it'll just fade away ..<br />
God is always there for everyone who wants guidness and asks for something , that they think is the least they can ask for, but will also , only give you whatever you think of him, when you think that he'll bliss you with something you've been waiting for forever, he will ! .. that's what I believe , and there's to one time , I gave everything I have to god , and prayed to him ( you created me , and you know what is best for me , oh please god! .. bliss me with whatever you think is best for me , for that you know what nobody else knows ) .. <br />
expect the good to come your way from god , and eventually , even if takes a long time , it'll come .. <br />
Those who say " good things happen to good people , and vice-versa ) .. are right! .. but they never gave us details to that statement .. <br />
because sometimes bad things happen to good people .. not because they're bad , but because it's a test from god .. just to see how strong and deep they're faith is .. and at the end , I know this for sure , there is no one more even than god .. and things you may think are bad , may turn with time to be something good , and of course the opposite is right .. <br />
so , yes , don't give up, and have hope , but know who are you hoping on .. and from there the so-called miracles could happen :) ..<br />
I hope I helped you even with little experience , or no experience at all , even just a little :)

thanks for listening :)<br />
well that's the thing, i was getting closer to god or whoever/whatever you want to call it, i believed there's something out there that loves you and is there for you when you need it. i believed that when u really want something, work hard enough, are perseverant enough, u might get it, i'm not hugely religious but i lived my life loving and trying to make other people happy. i'm a positive person and put others before me. i was happy for all the friends who became pregnant while i was going through hell after ivf failure after ivf failure, including a miscarriage, i drag myself out of bed to meet my pregnant friend while i was going through a miscarriage she didn't know anything about. All this not becuase i thought oh i'm such great person, no, i was just thinking it's not her fault i'm going through hell, she's pregnant and deserves to celebrate it.<br />
<br />
there's nothing "medically" wrong with me or my husband, still, we cannot conceive after 5 years of trying everything available<br />
i'm now 41 and we have put an end to treatments, so this is the end of the story<br />
<br />
still my friends get pregnant at 40 after one attempt<br />
<br />
i just feel there's nobody/nothing out there listening to me, and i find that scary, i'm all on my own and i wish i could believe in god or in angels, as i used to do before they stopped listening

I don't know what to tell you exactly ..<br />
I don't know if you'll even believe in anything I , or anyone else might say .. and also, I don't know if I have the right to sit here , and tell you to not give up and all that .. I don't know what it must be like .. <br />
But I'm really hoping from my heart that someday , god will answer all of your prayers .. and will give you something that will make you so happy , happier than you ever thought you could be , so happy.. , that you'll forget how much you are frustrated right now .. !<br />
in a nutshell ( look what your are actually believing in , and then you'll know why you are believing in that thing )<br />
Take Care :) ..!