Childless But Don't Know Whether To Be Happy Or Sad...

Through many series of unfortunate events, my husband and I are childless (but have a hairy child in our dog!).

I still feel that I am missing something major in my life but don't know if it's children or something else. On one hand, I miss my earlier who dog who I had for 15 years and loved like a child and this makes me think I really want a child somehow. I have looked in to adoption, fostering etc. but being a full time worker prevents me moving forward as these require you must be at home full time.

On the other hand, I hear my girlfriends moaning about how much kids cost & how much grief and heartache they get from them with little thanks ever coming their way.

Does anyone have a "half cup full" story?

Gotcha

getchunow getchunow
41-45, F
4 Responses Feb 13, 2010

I completely get where you are coming from... My husband and I have tried 2 IVFs that failed and we're now coming to terms with the sad reality that we might not have children. Instead we will spend our money on nicer cars and we go on amazing trips that our friends say they are "jealous" of, and we're expecting that we'll retire early... Hmmm... it does make us question if this is really as sad as we think?! I know people that have children that give them a lot of grief and my friends do complain about money problems and sleepless nights and I kind of feel lucky when I listen to them. I do feel that I'm missing out by not having kids and my heart pines for them... but at the same time when I'm on a vacation or sleeping in I'm thankful that I can do those things...

Same here. I comfort myself by doing all the things that my friends can't do because they have children. I am now planing to do an MBA. But at the back of my mind I am holding back just incase I get pregnant

Thanks very much for your comments! <br />
Unfortuntely, I am the main bread winner in the house so even though fostering is "paid", it's not enough to make the house payments. Besides, that money is to be used for the kids. Any other comments welcome!

i cope with your story and I pray that things go your way and that you will have the child or children you wish to have in the future. My sister is the same way. I have three kids yet she can't have any. Mine are sorta like hers in a way. and she has two dogs that she and her hubby consider their kids. They are hoping they can adopt or something in the future. Don't get discouraged you'll get your dream :) I wish you well. Yes, kids cost money and all but they are the best :)

You are in a perfect situation as far as I see. I hope my info fills your cup! <br />
"Fostering" children is a full time job.A "paid" full time job. So many children are out there waiting to be placed in homes. By fostering children you will get a firsthand look at what it is to parent. These are beautiful children who have been often neglected or abused and need a strong yet temporary home.All ranges of age and ethnicity. Long and short term placements are needed and you can decide how long you and your husband wish to do it. Look up fostercare in your area on the internet to learn more. As for the negative response you get from your friends who don't understand what your going through, don't let them daunt your dreams. Good luck! -K