Why Do You Judge Me? You Are Not God.

I will start by saying that my favorite book of the Bible is Ecclesiastes. It discusses the vanity of people and how the actions of people are in vain and meaningless. The book suggests that people should enjoy the simple things in life. One of those simple things in life could be enjoying your God given talent, like your line of work. For me, it will be wildlife biology, once I finish my MS degree in Wildlife Biology. It is a simple joy and a blessing for me to know that God has given me this gift. To see and understand the environment around me. Having the ability to assess what I see and then make recommendations on things that can be done to protect God’s creatures is a gift that I am very thankful for having.

You judge because I say that I don’t want children even though it is God’s will for me to have children because I am female. It is what God wants for me. You don’t know what God’s plans are for me. You say I am a bad Christian yet you sit there and judge me.

When I was 7 years old, I was at my best friend’s house. My mom was there as well as several other kids and their mothers. Her dad had just returned from a hunting trip. Although I knew what it meant to hunt, I didn’t really grasp the “hunter” concept until that evening. He came into the house and said that he had a deer outside. I go outside to see this deer, thinking that it was alive. I see these adults standing around this dead deer and a woman kicks the deer and says, “Come on Bambi. Get up.” It killed me. I went running inside, crying. I said to my mom, “I want to be a veterinarian when I grow up because I want to save animals.” For the next 10 years, that is what I was going to do…go to college to become a vet. I eventually realized that I wouldn’t be able to get into vet school but I knew that doing my part to save animals was the right thing for me. I earned my BA in Ecology and did some work after getting my degree. Now I am in grad school working on a MS in Wildlife Biology. For me, seeing that woman kick the dead deer was a clear calling from God that I was to go into this field. As a second grader, I didn’t know about ecology and wildlife biology. Maybe I did but I just didn’t put it all together until I got older.

Why am I saying this? Because, I posted a response to another story about how this young lady was “obeying” her husband as God intended. I understand and respect that. I am all about that. But then I get criticized because having children is not something that I want. And I get criticized because I wouldn’t give up my calling as a wildlife biologist and ecologist because a man “told” me to stay at home and pop out babies like I was a Pez dispenser. He may prefer that I stay at home but “telling” me that I had to because he was the man of the house. I talked to my grandfather who, in his younger years, was a deacon in his church. He grew up in the Baptist church and I have grown up in the Methodist church, but I digress. I asked him how my grandmother would’ve responded to him if he told her that she “had” to stay at home because he was the head of the house and the Bible said that she “had” to obey him. He smiled and said, “She would’ve told me to go fly a kite.” He said that he would’ve preferred that she stayed at home but he wasn’t going to make her be a housewife. My grandfather worked the third shift in a mill. My grandmother, for a while, worked in a place called T.G.& Y. store and he took my grandmother lunch on the days that she worked. He said that the other ladies were a little jealous, especially since he took her good stuff. They didn’t have a lot of money but he did for her. I know that my grandfather has said that my grandmother was a great mother to my mom and uncle. But he’d also tell you that my grandmother was stubborn. He’s stubborn too. It runs in the family. My dad would say the same thing about my mom. That he would never “demand” that she stay at home. He says that she doesn’t have to work if she doesn’t want to but my does work. If you think that my parents aren’t living a good Christian life because they took the word “obey” out when they got married…then try telling that to my mom and see what she has to say about that. Watch what my dad does too. He will stand back and let her knock you out of your little holier than thou attitude.

The man I marry will know that I am not his slave nor am I his property. He didn’t order me out of a Sears catalog. Marriage is about being there for each other emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially. Would I do my best to make sure that my husband was fed and had home that was kept? Of course. Would I have sex with my husband? Absolutely. Should he be able to make huge life changing decisions without discussing it with me first? No. Marriage is a give and take relationship. There is more that I would say on that but I will refrain. It just seems that when people talk about women “obeying” their husband that they make it sound as though they have no say at all. Maybe that works for some people…for the husband to always have the say and the woman nothing at all. My only concern is that these verses about women being submissive and obeying their husband could be a front or confirmation for physical (hitting and sexual), emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial abuse. I’m not saying that this is always this case, but it is a concern.

Now, the Bible also talks about ******. The Old Testament is filled with stories of ******. The first one that comes to mind is about Lot and his daughters (Genesis 19:31-36). The girls get Lot drunk and then have sex with him. Then there is Sara and Abraham (Genesis 20:12-13) who were siblings (half). There are other stories in Kings and Exodus. So, does this mean that we should have sex with our parents or siblings? Absolutely not.

Look at what the Bible says about multiple wives and divorce. Again, in the Old Testament, it mentions that Lamech took two wives (Genesis 4:19). In 1 Kings, it says – He had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Now, that doesn’t mean that men should have two wives or mistresses. Of course, in 1 Corinthians 7:2, it does state that men should only have one wife. In Luke 16:18, Matthew 5:32, and Matthew 19:3-9, it also states that people who divorce and remarry have committed adultery. So, do you tell the members of your church or place of worship who have divorced and gotten remarried that they are bad Christians because they have committed adultery?

Why am I saying all of this? You don’t know me and you don’t know how I live my life. You can’t judge me and persecute me because I may interpret things in a different way. The only one that can judge me is God. You don’t know what God has in store for me. Just because I am a female doesn’t mean that God wants me to have children. In fact, it would be difficult for me to have children because of a medical problem that I have. You may say that God is punishing me but have you ever thought that God may be sending me a sign. The sign being that I am here for something more than being some man’s barefoot and pregnant housewife who has no right to say anything at all. Not every woman is able to have a child and although miracles happen all the time, that doesn’t mean that every woman that hasn’t been able to bear children is a bad person. Nor does it make those that don’t want children a bad person. Why do you feel the need to judge people on just one aspect of what the Bible says? I believe that God will forgive me of my sins. So, if I have sinned for not wanting children and if I ask for forgiveness, then God will forgive me.

Telling me that having a baby is the best gift I can give a man is a load of dung. A man should want me as his wife because he loves me, not because I am uterus with legs. Again, I am not a Pez dispenser that pops out babies. Another thing, saying that I will change my mind when I meet the right man is another load of fresh dung. If he is the right man, then this wouldn’t be an issue. There may be some hearts that get broken but it’s a part of life. Now, if the man has a child from a previous marriage then that would be a little different. I may be hesitant about being involved with him, especially depending on the circumstances of why he is a single father (divorced or widowed), the age of the child, and a few other things. It’s something that would have to be considered if I became involved with a single father. I know that I’m not perfect and I realize that I have made mistakes in the past. We all have but who are you to judge me or anyone else? I ask for forgiveness of my sins. People say that you know when you have met the person that you are supposed to marry…that it is just something that you know. That is how it is with my calling into wildlife biology. I know that this the talent that God gave me. How many people are doing what God has called them to do? Do you really think that women are only here to please men and to have their babies? That they are useless for everything else?

In conclusion, don’t go around telling people what you think God has planned for them. You don’t know what God thinks or what his plans are for people. Only God knows what is in store for his children. I am aware that people will be upset by what I have written. But, I have written this because of people accusing me being a bad Christian when they don’t know me. They don’t know how I live my life and how I have lived my life. And as your mother has probably taught you…if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
hikerchick2011 hikerchick2011
31-35, F
8 Responses Sep 3, 2011

My favorite Bible book is Ecclesiastes too. You are asking why people judge you. Well, didn't Jesus say that if you chose to follow him you could expect persecution? And aren't Christians among the greatest "judgers" on the planet? It actually amazes me when I hear a Christian whining about being persecuted. Shouldn't you rejoice because of that, as a sign you are on the right path? I know Jehovah's Witnesses, whom many people deny being true Christians, have this right Christian attitude.

You definitely meander A LOT, but your point is well taken and VERY IMPORTANT!!! Your "god" tells a very different story than my "goddess". Do we all have the same right to our own beliefs? I am so NOT a CHRISTIAN. I do, however share some of your beliefs. Some. Other Christian beliefs are EXTREMELY offensive to me. So, how do you propose to share the world?

judging is a human characteristic that we inherited from the beginning of days: God did not bestow us with it. Although we shouldn't judge others (as it says in the bible), we do anyways; thats why it is called a SIN. But let me point out to you that we also cheat and steal and lie: those are SINS too.<br />
I do not enjoy people "judging" me, but when God told us not to judge others, did he mean judging as "You are fat" or judging as "You are going to Hell." I have been taught it was the second one.<br />
Although I may be wrong, why must we care about other "judging" us. God's opinion is the only one that matters, and he loves us whether we are fat or if we go to Hell (We all DESERVE Hell). I personally don't think a Christian should be worried about others judgements, as long as we are doing what God wants us to do.

Also, i know this has NOTHING to do with anything, but the hunting concept. I am a hunter, Yes, i hunt DEER. We as hunters don't hate animals, as much as you probably think that. Being a hunter, I have gained OUTSTANDING respect for the wildlife I hunt. Those animals I hunt are beautiful, and I love to watch them in their own habitat. God put animals here on this earth so we can eat them, right? Am I wrong? Are you a vegetarian? Do you eat hamburgers or bacon? That is cow and pig. They are put to death, in inhumane ways, so i have heard. The way we put deer to death is by a gun. A fast and unexpected death. My dad tells me that they didn't even know what was coming.
We as hunters also care for the animals in a different way. When we shoot a deer (or any other wildlife) and the deer runs off, we will look for it for 1, 2, even 4 hours. How ever long it takes us to find it we will look. There is also a point in which we must stop, because there is always a chance that the shooter missed.

Contrasting, I do not agree with poaching, which is killing an animal for no purpose, or for just the trophy and letting the animal rot on the side of the road. This goes against everything a true hunter wants.

I am not trying to inflict you with anger, I just want you to see my side of it. Don't worry, you won't be the first who despises hunters and what they do. :)

Obviously you haven't read my response about hunting or you would already know the anwers to your questions. I know that God put animals here to be hunted. The only issue I have with hunters are those that don't follow the regulations that have been set by the state's wildlife biologists (about which gender and/or age can be hunted). I am not a vegetarian and I am aware of the issues with the way many animals are killed in order for people to eat them. There are hunters and non-hunters alike that are wildlife biologists. By the way, no one ever said that hunters hated animals. Again, you obviously didn't read what I wrote earlier about hunters or you'd realize that I don't despise hunters.

the ones who don't follow the rules are called POACHERS. not hunters

First, that was well written and well thought out. Nice work!<br />
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A couple of somewhat off topic things:<br />
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Being a vet....Lots of girls/young women believe this will be their profession. Unfortunately at some point they realize that being a vet also involves quite a lot of killing of animals as well as healing and that turns many of them off the profession. At least this is true of general practitioners, who deal with family pets like cats and dogs. Probably a different story for those who specialize in exotic or large animals.<br />
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I'm curious what your view of hunting is now as an adult? I grew up in a hunting family and did quite a bit of it as a youth. I'm too lazy as an adult to do it! :) I think it's more work than non-hunters realize. Anyway, my own view was that due to man's general culling of predators hunting was necessary to control populations for many species, but that's an uneducated opinion. Curious what a pro's opinion on the subject is.<br />
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Sorry for the offtopic-ness! ;)

You aren't off topic. I did realize that some animals would need to be put to sleep. When I was in high school, I shadowed/volunteered at a vet's office. I got to see a couple of animals put to sleep. It was sad, but needed to be done since there wasn't anything that could be done to save the animals. I have a pretty strong stomach so that wasn't an issue. Being a vet, is definitely not something for those that are too sensitive. Now, don't get me wrong, I really don't like the idea of having to sacrifice (kill, put to sleep, etc.) an animal but if there is nothing that can be done to take away the pain or make it better, then it's better to put the animal out of its misery. I have been fortunate that I've never had to have a pet euthanized but I've watched my cat die knowing that I couldn't save her. It killed me. Of course, she was 15 and a 1/2 and had been with me for almot 7 yrs. So, I do understand the pain that pet owners go through when their furbabies die or need to be put to sleep.

Hunting is a good thing but I think that there are some hunters who give all hunters a bad reputation. The ones I speak of are the ones that will try to kill the larger game species when the local natural resource officers have already stated what can be hunted (deer hunters). I realize that hunting is difficult, is "a lot" of work, and takes "a lot" of time. Some time back, I was in a wildlife mgt. class and we went on this weekend field trip where we got to see hunters bring in white-tailed deer. The biologist asked if it was ok if he gutted the deer for the class. I think gutted is the right word. Anyway, it stunk. I knew that it would considering the digestive track of a deer. In general, hunting is a good thing as long as the hunters aren't trying to pull fast ones (killing animals that they aren't supposed to kill). The one thing that I don't know about, is how much of the animal they use. Do they just kill it for sport? Do they kill it for food only? Do they use the meat and the fur, etc. (use every part of the animal)?

Thanks for your response.

Yes, gutting a large animal isn't a pleasant experience. You have to be careful not to tear/cut any of the intestine because if those contents getsout it's REALLY unpleasant!

And poachers are scum so I agree with you there. I was only thinking about legal hunting.

I guess the thing I always thought would be hard as a vet, for someone sensitive about animals, is euthanizing animals that could be saved but whose owners aren't willing to pay for the treatment. Honestly, as a pet owner, I probably wouldn't spend more than $500 or so on medical treatment for a pet.

Anyway, thanks for answering.

The others have left some good comments, so I won't try to repeat them. Instead, I will leave you with some of my favorite quotes about judging others...<br />
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"If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Theresa<br />
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"Who are you to judge the life I live?<br />
I know I'm not perfect-and I don't live to be- <br />
but before you start pointing fingers... <br />
make sure you hands are clean!" - Bob Marley


The whole point of this story is to judge someone else for their beliefs... That alone renders all your words hollow and meaningless.

She isn't judging anyone. All she is saying is that others have judged her when they don't know her.

I admire the fact that you know what you are doing is what God wants you to do. I think that sometimes people have a hard time accepting that people know these things. You are right, we shouldn't judge other people for their actions. I think that it is easy to criticize others when you don't know anything about them and are hidden behind a computer. I don't know you but I'm sure that you are very passionate about what you have been called to do. In terms of children, I see where you are coming from. With the way things are these days, it really isn't the best time to bring a child into this world. I totally agree that having a baby isn't the greatest gift you can give a man. If that were the case, then there wouldn't be women out there that get pregnant (out of wedlock) just to attempt to keep a man...only to have him leave her and she is left to raise the child alone. If I remember correctly, the whole obey in the Bible wasn't used and that the term submit was more in terms of humility and respect and not obedience. I think that humility and respect goes both ways and I can see where there could be some frustrations when using obedience to mean obey. I'm sure someone will disagree with me and have something nasty to say. Oh well. <br />
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I have to say that you made me smile - uterus with legs. Anyway, I think that you will be a great wildlife biologist. God has given you a gift that not many people would want. I think that it's awesome that you have been called to save God's creatures. God Bless you and have a great weekend sweetie.

i am not a christian, but i have christian friends. and they tell me that those who call themselves christian and then act un-christian-like, are not at all behaving as christians, indeed they cannot call themselves such. their view is hate the sin, love the sinner, and not to judge. seems to me whoever told you this is acting in a way that makes them in violation of their own beliefs. and if they feel strongly they know what is best for their belief, that you are sinning, they should not berate you but in the least stay silent. it is their interpretation, and all of us can interpret what we believe in any way we want.<br />
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this is what i feel, and i say this after having several serious conversations with you, and so, knowing where your heart is. you are a good person. you do a lot under very difficult circumstances to take care of family and better yourself. do not let holier-than-thous tell you what is right for you. if i didn't know you, i would still say it's no one else's business what you want to do or be or have. but knowing you from our chats here, i know you are a serious person who has her head on straight. you are not flighty, you are not naive and you have known for a long time what you wanted in life and you continue to move determinedly toward that goal, regardless of the obstacles. we need more people who will contribute to society in good ways and less people who think they know what's best for others, who only contribute personal judgement in an effort to make others feel guilty. <br />
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you will not be committing crimes, you will not be hurting anyone, you will be working to help animals. it is not something i would do nor care to do, that's not my thing, but i admire your goal and perseverance. persevere now as well when others criticize. do what you want, now and later. do not let anyone dissuade you or bother you in the least. it's just not worth even thinking about really. continue to work hard toward your goal. be a contributing member of society. hang in there. have a great weekend.

You are so right.

thanks. :)