Religious Nut ?

i was foolish. I just made a reason for them to blaspheme God when I asked them why they don't believe in Jesus.
I'm ashamed of myself..., not because they called me a religious nut, but because I wasn't able to tell them about Jesus the way a good servant would. I lack wisdom, and I don't know much in the Bible. I love to read it but I don't equip myself with it. The Word of God is like a sword, and I should never be without it. I want to be a soldier of God. I really do. So I completely surrender myself and . . I will go to training. ^^, i'm not so smart, but i'm really determined to work hard. hahah, it's like signing up for a new job.
I was foolish for asking people anyway. I asked them why they don't believe in Jesus. Well the answer is in the Bible already: "God has blinded their eyes and closed their minds, so that their eyes would not see, and their minds would not understand, and they would not turn to Me for Me to heal them." . . why was i looking for answers here anyway? to any other question or confusing thing, i should ask God.
I was so angry a while ago, but I feel better now. I can't make people turn to God, but I can help sow the seeds. Christian Agriculture ^_^ LoL. ^_^
Luke 8: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds ate it up. 6 Some fell on rocky ground, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. 7 Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. 8 Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown.”
...The seed is the word of God. 12 Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 Those on the rocky ground are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. 14 The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. 15 But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop."

The first time I heard about this verse [a year ago], I really cried, realizing that I'm like the seed who fell on the rocky soil, or the soil with thorns. When i first heard about Jesus 5 years ago [in a book Purpose Driven Life], I was ecstatic. But my faith didn't even last long. i got entangled with the earthly life again, I don't even read the Bible back then, because nobody else does. And I don't know how. When I tried reading the Bible 5years ago, I started with Genesis, and then it became boring. I was distracted too, and then lost my way. Until a year ago. Perhaps Jesus removed the rocks from this soil, and weeded away the thornbushes. Thanks to some Americans [called Gideons?]  who were giving away free New Testament Bibles in our university. It was such a small Bible but it saved my life. Because of it, I started reading the Purpose driven life again. And most of all, I started reading my big Bible again, the one my highschool classmate gave me. And God showed me a lot of things I've never dreamed of. Really. I know that right now, I'm not yet so deeply anchored in Him. I still stray every once in a while. But as much as possible, I'll keep on crawling to Him, especially in my desperate moments. When I feel like I could just kill myself. Hahah. The process is paainfully slow. Ever since last year, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. A year ago, I felt like I could face anything because i'm a Christian already. But when trials and temptations came, it really doesn't feel like that. I thought I know what I know in the Bible. But I never really knew what I knew until that was tested during circumstances.

Like in reading what Jesus said, love one another, love love love,, I thought I COULD Love, and i would love because I decided to love. but then a situation came when God showed me someone I really don't like, the opposite of me, he's an extrovert. a very extrovert extrovert is now living in the house. I knew it was a test, but I can't stand him. sadly, i failed this test. . . what can i do about it now? sad . .

i feel sleepy already. z z z

i know i'm not a good Christian right now. . .. . . . . . . .
prodigarl prodigarl
18-21, F
8 Responses May 4, 2012

Stop thinking that you are broken or not a good Christian. God made NO human perfect and as long as you strive to better yourself and strengthen his Love and spread his word you are just as perfect as he could have made a servant! Have faith in yourself as you were created in his image, he gives you everything you need and puts nothing on your plate you cant handle.

thank you. . :-]

Psalm 103:8-14, "The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide: neither will He keep his anger for ever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear Him. For He knoweth our fr<x>ame; He remembereth that we are dust." What a beautiful passage of sc<x>ripture! What a wonderful God! Our Lord knows them that fear Him and He remembers that we are dust. How ridiculous is it for anyone to teach that God takes away the birthright of His own children, kicking them out of the family of God because of sin in their life. "For a just man falleth seven times." The Bible says that fallen man "riseth up again," it doesn't say he gets saved again. The second birth cannot be undone. If saved, always saved.

thank you daniel :)

It was very brave of you to try, I can't most of the time. You tried, and God is proud of that. Maybe one day you can help some people, two fruits of the Spirit are the word of wisdom and the word of knowledge, to help you with this. Don't worry about not knowing, God will give it to you. :) We all make mistakes sometimes, but don't blame yourself for their actions. You didn't give them a chance to blaspheme Him, they do it all the time. All you did was try to help, and that's honorable. I too was a seen sown on thorny ground. The thorns tried to choke me, but God protected me, He has been protecting me all the way and leading me on the right path even when I didn't notice. The same goes for you, just trust Him. I understand about the extra extra extrovert being annoying. I'm a pretty mellow person and it annoys me a little when I meet people like that. But you have to judge people on their character and their morals. If he's a good person, you will start liking him soon enough. You'll be surprised with your ability to love because of God. Don't be so discouraged, you're not a bad Christian, you're not a failure of any kind. I think you're doing just great building your faith. You've grown a lot, I hope you see that. Even if you or I or anyone doesn't see it, God does. (:

thank you angel. you've always been supportive of me, and always have been encouraging me. ^_^ God protects, God leads, God teaches. He is just everything! I will try my best to learn and learn. I want to know Him more. And now I'm glad of every circumstance that comes to me, even that about my ex. Because of them, I learn more from God. Thank you for encouraging me here, and before. . you're such a good sister! ^_^

You're right. God is always watching over us, even when we don't notice. So I shouldn't stop trusting Him when things go awful. Like my seemingly hopeless life right now. I'm just at the stage when I don't know what will happen to my future. But then I stop and think, why am i so concerned about the future here, and not the future There. I don't care what happens to my life anymore, as long as God will lead the way. He's teaching me to live my life to the fullest. And I'm really having a hard time learning it, because i'm sluggish and easily distracted. . . heheh. ^^

Aww no need to thank me ^.^ I'm so glad you see me as a good sister, you are too! you're rght. Just trust God, and especially when things go bad. It's not what happens in life, how much money you make, or what job you get that matters. It's what you learn what you do when these things happen, and how much you grow spiritually. Haha I get distracted and sluggish too, but He helps us out of that. (:

"It's not what happens in life, how much money you make, or what job you get that matters. It's what you learn what you do when these things happen, and how much you grow spiritually." . . . oh why do I keep forgetting ? ? . . . these are all really good words ^_^ . .again, thank you ^_^ :]

It's easy to forget sometimes, but He reminds you. Thank you and you're welcome! (:

Yes that's true.

3 More Responses

Shuhak those were some good words you wrote, very help full i do think we must always remember it is all about Jesus for the only way to the father is trough the sun. I did think you did very well on your comment. The first person that ever walks up to this Christian and says i have read the Bible and i understand everything it was saying i think i will have to turn a round and walk a way. I have been at this for some time now and every day i smile why i learn some thing new. That is what makes it so great trust in him.

Being called a religious nut is nothing. If they persecuted (and killed) Jesus, won’t they persecuted his followers as well? Never be ashamed of being a Christian! Jesus never said it would be easy (Luke 14:25-28). Yes, the Word is your sword, but as with any tool, it takes time to learn how to use it (practice).<br />
You can NEVER make anyone turn to God. Your job is simply to tell others about Him. The Holy Spirit does the convicting. <br />
The bible can be very daunting, especially to a “first time reader”. But as you grow, you will find that the Old and New Testaments mesh together intricately. Even the lists of “begats” will eventually “make sense” (yes, they have a purpose as well).<br />
When most Christians first start out, they have a bit of arrogance about them. “I’m ready, I can handle anything!” But when the trials and temptations come along, they falter. If they have no root, they “die off” (as in the parable of the soils). Trials and temptations can either destroy us or make us stronger. James 1:2-4 says to count them as joy as they help you to grow. God uses them to test us. <br />
All true Christians are “good”, they just aren’t perfect. I know you’ve probably heard this a thousand times and yes, it sounds “dumb”, but as you grow in Christ, you will find that you don’t have all the answers. And yes, you will lose many a fight. However, don’t give up for the battle has already been won. As you shine your light and wield your Sword in this dark world, know that Jesus is right there beside you to help you, aid you and pick you up when you fall. He will NEVER leave you!! <br />
Don’t trust other so-called “Christian” writings. Some can be helpful, but some can also lead you astray. Spend lots of time in the “writings” that really count – the Word. That’s how you become rooted in God. (Eph. 3:14-19)

Thank you shuhak. . . i love reading Christian stuff though, they encourage me to be better. But of course, i have to be choosy about which words i digest. I try to remember that they are written by men too, who might make some mistakes. thank you..

Re servantlove.<br />
You have made mention in your post about the Purpose Driven Life and i wonder if you are aware that the teaching contained in that book strays away from sound Bible teaching.And leads many on a broad path to false security.<br />
The salvation message of Jesus was a relationship with Him beginning with being born again, the mountain of books today written for profit do very little to encourage this relationship, a lot of things written with a cloak of Christian values is in fact psychological mumbo jumbo.No man or woman can tell you the key to a relationship with the living Saviour, we are all different and simply because so many people are drawn to certain individuals who seem to have the key to a successful Christian life doesn't without any evidence make it true, and if you look carefully at some things written by apparently successful

the end of the sentence should read that many successful christian authors do contradict the Bible

no, i'm not aware? how does it mislead? i haven't read all of that book, but it's become like some source of encouragement to me. . .

we all make mistakes and you still planted a seed for someone else god bless you for trying .

thank you stuwebb :)

There is no such thing as a 'good Christian' - we're still human like everyone else so don't worry about trying to become one ;-) ... we're forgiven - that's all! I know what you mean though.<br />
<br />
Make sure you pick yourself up and carry on. The only way to truly fail is to not try. Everything else makes for very good learning experiences, so keep learning. One day you will reap the harvest of your sowed seeds! ;-)

yes i will keep on trying and keep on learning. "the only way to fail is to not try" . . thank you uncomdemned :)