I Am In Such Sorrow

I am so tired and sick of being laughed at mocked ,and ridiculed for my efforts,it is sickening me and my soul is in such torment,for I walk in the trenches of the front lines,trying to better Earth and show these unholy how he our father is the way the one and only I pray and try to prove his grace through my flesh I am not worthy my garments and getting torn and dirty in this attempt to show his glory and walk righteously failing miserably and so full of worry as my soul is weak and growing cold from all the flurries yet i walk in the rain snow and fire if need be to show our father that all I want is he I will show these people one way or another that he is real and cares,however I have been judged and receive cold stares and know one cares. Nothing about my job is fun everyday I am on the run getting it done I promise you I am not the one I worship you God and and in Love with your son how dare I walk around under the sun after all that we have done to your son, Im in the dark pulling lost souls out of the fire I pray that this is your desire I will atone the best I can , I am so ashamed to be called a man I am so unholy and just want to lend a helpping hand this is not our land I am here as a self sacrifice nothing about me is nice I run with rats snakes and everyday and in fear I am not doing it right I pray for all of the lost souls to try to change and live right i am enraged and in tears so sorrow full when I lay to rest after I fail ever single night God we took Jesus live and love money on paper cut from this Earth just to pass it around each other hands for things that are made from our weak ungodly mortal hands and draw up Earths blood from the lands to fuel chariots that pollute all of your great and creative graceful gracious hands and can not even meet ten of your rules from witch you have gave us as commands how dare us defile abuse you wonderful words as if they were hard to find they every where these books are not rare I see people laugh and mock you everywhere and pass over the Bible to go pick up alcohol and a rifle and promote violence and are so ignorant to your ways because this thing called crime pays in all of the unholy ways so I sacrifice my life labor and exhaust all of my resources in all ways yet to convert and save all of the lost souls who are ignorant to your ways and am tired always no one cares they judge me ridicule and lie saying they are christian yet they dress up ,judge look down their noses and lie this i see this in churches it sickens me and is so sad they lie and play dress up and forsake our dad for hopes of sex and destroy all that was sacrificed by our dad how dare you judge me with you false faiths and lies saying you represent christian faith for you are worse than the trenches in witch i walk when I am out late I pray that our father destroys all of us and can not wait for this plane is evil and i can not take I am no better and am doomed to but i can at least sleep when my job is over and when the day light is up when I clock out for I am unworthy to be graced by his light trust me I live this way most every night I am on a mission and really am a born again christian I pray we learn to teach faith not religion I am not fake I practice what I preach I lead this assault and am doing poorly lord help me chance the unworthy to the worth it is you who I do this and I am far from through I hate sin and can not stand that it seems to be all I am capable to do he was your son and I am so sorry and can not express to you I am so ashamed and alone out in the rain doomed and in torment for you graced me with a second chance and have given me life when I ruined my first attempt to do it right I am unworthy but these people are in my sight they call beg and plead for a savior and have no one to help and I to my best most every night it is not fun on the streets around drugs liars and guns and people wonder why all i do is ***** and cry I want to die but this life is not for me I will lead and show by example while my soul it gets stomped and trampled this is not a song a catchy jingle this is my life nothing is fun this is my job and I need to know how to do it better and serve you right I swear to God I want things to change I am out running in the night ashamed to step foot in light thank-you for you son Jesus I am sorry for your pain and life for I want to save lost souls and know one is redirected towards your light I need to see someone prosper and stand up and see your light please lord grace some poor lost souls life show a battered shattered soul how it is to be whole give someone i help a renewed soul it is not me help anyone else regain light one convert i need to see it please one believer from any aspect of my job make someone who was blind now see anyone but me amen I work for you and am sorry I love you