Reasons Why I Cant Be God

Angel :"Hey you got a visitot."

Me: "Send him in."

A man walks in and takes a seat

Man: "Hey I came to complain on how your running things."
Me: "Whats the problem with the way I run things."
Man "Nothing make sense you need evidence to prove your case."
Me: "And your case is?"
Man:" You already know."
Me: "Well I wanna hear it from your mouth "
Man: "I dont have to explain myself to you. I want you to change how you do things around here or else give me the job because things dont make sense down there."
Me:" All right you want me to change things fine.......there I changed them."
Man:" Now was that so hard to ask for."

the man gets up and goes to walk away he opens the door only to find a huge pit and falls into hell.

Me: "I have no patience for complaints."

Angel "We have another one."

A lady walks in. "EXCUSE ME BUT I DONT APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DID JUST NOW.!"

ME" WHAT I DO?!"

lady "You gave my children away to foster care what the hell is wrong with you."

Me "well lets see if they wouldve stayed with you they would not have made passed age 5 you wouldve killed 2 of them in accident and then had another abortion due to pain and sufferin and had 7 husbands."

Lady" I want my kids."

Me " Why cant you people understand why I'm doing im sparing you the trouble.."

Lady "shut up and give me what I want."

I let a sigh. The lady goes through the door back to earth.

Me " What a day"

Angel "Lucifer is here"



Lucifer walks in. "I came to tell you something...I QUIT!!!"

Me: Whoa!! You cant quit!

Lucifer: I just did!

Me: Hold on you got a job to do Jesus isnt going back for another year.

Lucifer : Christians blame me for everything nevermind that everyone blames me for everything!..... I havent I thought of doing somethings and they jump to conclusions have the crap they think I'm gonna do i cant even perform. I mean look at the lady you just sent back.

The lady was in a care accident.

Lady :" I hate the devil and I hate God but thank you Jesus im still alive imma be a devil hunter now."

Lucifer :" See what I mean I quit. Hell was supposed to be only for me not anyone else the only reason why I'm so mean and evil is so I dont have to listen to people like that all day You! CARE DO SOMETHING!"

ME: "Fine......done.."

Lucifer walks out. The lady pases by him.

Lady "I hate you..." she walks in "I hate you too. If I was God I would-..." Lucifer runs back in.

Lucifer "That was your bright idea send them all to hell where am I supposed to go..."

Me:" You go with them!"

Lucifer "Hell no...you gotta be kidding me"

Me "Bye"

Lucifer " Sooo wrong ahhhhhh!"

Me " Finally some peace and quiet.

Statistics 1,000,000,000,000 people sent to hell including demons, complainers, and generally people who are a pain like Lucifer.

P.S. God when you get back fix it!
Please sincerely yours

the angry replacement.
Gxraider Gxraider
22-25, M
1 Response Sep 8, 2012

amen