Ugly, Awkward Friendships

I want you out of my life, NOW AND FOREVER !
but you won't leave, you continue to enjoy ruining my life with your perfectly ugly presence.

Once upon a time i met a girl, and we became best friends. She was the coolest person i had ever met and i felt i could relate to her a lot, she seemed to be an expert in all areas of life and always had stories of her many experiences. She did a lot for me, but then she turned out to be a fake ***** ! she started treating me like a folded up piece of paper that she used to scrape out the dirt from her fingernails. ugggh -_- i would share my deepest darkest feelings and secrets with her and then she'd go and blab about it to everyone and back stab me while she was at it. I don't want to go into full detail because the time our friendship broke down was the longest most miserable 2-3 years of my whole life ! I wanted to avoid her, but i couldn't, she was in some of my classes, we had the same friends, we were into the same hobbies and extra curriculars at school , so it was hard (no wonder why we were so close) but flip she totally effed me over ! SHE .. uggh.. i can't even... don't even have the energy to pull out all her sh_t because it's gone, i let it go, i forgave her. I confronted her about everything she did to me and said it to her face in a nice tone when we were having a confession session, the dumb thing is she denied it all, she wrote her denial in a stupid letter and read it aloud...

so what i did was write her a letter in return, except i never did finish my letter because when i read it and timed it, it was 10 minutes long and i had not even finished... i brought out EVERYTHING down to the last tiny detail. I stated, explained and provided supporting evidence just to make it clear to her why i hated her and why it was all just complete (f)truckery -_- but then i decided to just let it all go... i decided to forgive her... "YOLO" i thought and decided not to let someone have so much hold over me.

to this day she's still a friend of mine, and she drives me crazy ! even though i've let all the things from 2010-2011 go, she keeps stirring new sh_t and i dont ever know if she can change ! but nobody's perfect ! what helps me stay sane around this girl is god's grace ! we as humans have committed so much sin in this world but god still loves us and will forever love us if we believe and put our trust into him and jesus christ.

Basically my story is about bitterness being over come by grace ! i'm still in high school and i've gone through sh_tloads of AGONISING MISERY already and deep down i know that it hasn't reached it's peak, not just yet. But i'm relieved because i am a strong christian, i am a believer. I know that god will not just heal my broken heart or put a bandage over my bruised ego, but he will give me a new heart, a bigger one that has endured pain and that is ready to endure more. This experience of a bitter betrayed friendship has taught me to be patient with some people, and to not be peer pressured into being the "bum boy" but rather to stand up for yourself, it has taught me heaps ! now i see life in a different light and hopefully i can work towards success now somehow. or something, i just felt like sharing :) thank you for reading if you did manage to get through my dramatic life story :)
JustYeah JustYeah
Sep 15, 2012