Married to a Non-believer?

Hello there, I just need to vent about my situation...maybe someone can relate to it. I have been married for five months to a man who is a non-believer. He attends church with me and prays, but has not accepted salvation. He has a quick temper, has punches holes in the walls when angry, puts me down in front of my parents, and is verbally abusive...this pattern did not appear until after we were married. We have been going to a Christian marriage therapist, but my husband does not complete the homework she assigns, or exercises the tools she gives us. He is making no effort to save our marriage. I feel as if I am trying to save our marriage single-handedly...which is impossible.

I do my best to tell the truth in love during arguments, and to approach our situation from a Christian perspective (do not repay anger for anger, etc.) but when does it get to a point where enough is enough? I understand part of this problem is that I married an man who is not saved. I got myself into this mess to begin with. He is unable to see the situation thru "God's eyes" during conflict and is unable to be gentle and kind. We as Christians have an inner peace...a peace that transcends all understanding, and that is what keeps me going and gives me hope for our marriage.  But when does the abuse become too much? It's no fun living in a marriage like this, and I really do not enjoy my husband putting me down rather than lifting me up. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I could use your input, thanks!

Linszw5v Linszw5v
26-30, F
29 Responses Nov 24, 2007

I am a non Christian husband married to a Christian lady.

I have never hit or abused my wife... I love my wife...I would do anything for her. Just because I am not religious doesnt mean I am an immoral evil person.

I went to church to appease her family(father) for 2 years..I even got baptied before we married to secure her fathers permission.

She said I would not have to keep up the charade anymore once we were married...after 2 years of marriage she told me this morning she regretted marrying me because i am a non believer just because I did not want to go to her church..
I am angry, sad and disappointed.

I respect other people's right to religion. I do not judge or force my views on her in any way.

I see the exact opposite from her and most religiously orientated people.

Just because I do not live as a Christian does not mean I live my life badly, I don't hurt people, I'm helpful kind and respectful.

I think forcing people to live the way you want to live is selfish.

Keep your religion to yourself.
You might actually find peace and happiness.

Yes was married to a man like that for 20years . We use to go to church together he even touch Sunday school but at home was a different man . He didn't love me but the power he had over me . He use to push me around and put me down . It took me 20 years to listern to what God said to me and leave . Which I did , I had three children to him . And I end up sometimes protecting them . I no it hard but I would say pray about it but don't wait to get hurt . Leave ...


I am not a Christian possibly have read my posts before.

But have you ever thought that this might not be due to religion as a whole

There could be a lot of things gone wrong things that were not evident when you were going out. " You never divorce the person you marry "

Some people when have with their own needs not met are just plain heartless and selfish.

If things are this bad you would be even according to your bible be allowed to divorce as your husband has broken the spiritual contract that is part of your vows

But before doing this stand back and also look at the whole picture it cannot be viewed with your nose up against it.

People do change what you were when young you may not be now. People do grow out of things.

My family believe what they wish I cannot tell them what is right or wrong. I and nobody else really knows. I would not even think of asking my daughter what she is going to teach her children if teaching them at all. Her take is they will make their own minds up. Which I agree with.

But you have a right to your beliefs and they should be respected by your partner no matter what he believes.

IE If your a Muslim and your husband is not then he should respect your rights in food religion etc.

You too should except that he does not wish to be one and respect that too.

But do not keep throwing the bible in his face that is the last thing you should do.
It is not good to keep throwing it in his face when he is it home this could be the cause of his anger. He may feel he does not wish to walk that path anymore.

You do not have to make yourself a slave for God It is up to him to get through to your husband. All you have to do is hold on to your beliefs if you feel your husbands beliefs are pulling you down then leave.

I am sure if you back off give him some space and he gives you yours things will improve.

Please remember there is good and bad in all of us no matter what religion you

I have met very bad Christians who hide behind a cross and some very good

Atheists Muslims etc. I actually have a friend that is a Catholic Hindu Most of my

friends have various religious beliefs but we get on together do not bring religion into the mix if causing trouble

Give yourselves a middle space where other things can be discussed in a mutual way.

The bible may have taught your to be fishers of men but some fish do not wish to be caught and prepared to deal with consequences if they are wrong
That is all you can hope for.

This should never be taken for granted but really discussed before any commitment is made.

Just respect what he feels or maybe going through and the nicest way possible get off his back


God gives us common sense (wisdom). He operates in a supernatural realm, and while he can work all things for good for those who love him according to His purpose, I believe he did not consider your purpose, to be a 'doormat' .
Like a lot if 'Christian women' today we have a obscure belief that we are to, 'love' and bear all and suffer emmensely. I think there is a danger here in misunderstanding scripture in Corinthians 13:4 about love, in which advice from well meaning people have told you that 'love',should put up with this type of behavior from your husband.
For the last 5 years I have been in a loving relationship with a loyal, caring, and kind hearted self confessed atheist, as a born again believer. While it has been diffcult, the both of us have held together, and the parts we couldn't manage god has stepped in on our behalf. I have laid out my boundaries in what is expected of him in regards to my faith, and he had respected that. He does not agree at all, but he has chosen to respect that and to some part we have peace. It upsets him sometimes that I go to church, but I reassure him that I am still the same person before I walked out the door that morning. Sometimes people fear what they don't understand and as a non believer your husband may not understand what is happening and that may make him afraid that his whole life is changing and hd has mo control. thsts a scaryvplace to be, but this is no excuse to be abusive.
I would encourage you to act on your faith, go see a councilor, get into the word and get a revelation about, 'love' from the correct prespective ie not a doormat. Establish boundaries, make tough decisions if that's what it will take. And most of all follow Jesus, don't be afraid of displeasing other Christians or people , if you have to make some tough decisions.

I can relate to your situation so much, and let me encourage you to persevere. Let me start out by saying that I married a man who claimed the name of Christ and convinced everyone that he was a believer. He led the music in our church for years, witnessed to unbelievers, held bible study in his home, memorized the first three chapters of Romans, etc. (This was before we were married.) There were definitely reservations about some of his character before we got married, but I knew (as well as everyone else) that he was a Christian, and therefore under the compunction and authority of Christ. About a few months into our marriage, things were very hard. His outlook on life, as I began to realize, was very self-centered and unrealistic. He wanted perfection from me on every level and he wanted the best for himself. And when he didn't get it or he realized that he might be crossing a line morally or spiritually, he became angry. So finally, he decided that he was out to disprove the validity of scripture. When fully faced with his sin, instead of being humble and soft-hearted before the Lord, he became hard hearted and stiff-necked. He renounced Christianity. When confronted by the men in our church, he began to blame everyone but himself - me, his parents, his childhood, you name it. Then, after awhile, he sort of "came back" to Christianity until things got too hard again, and then the cycle would begin. This sort of thing has been going on for nearly nine years. In the meantime, he has been verbally and emotionally abusive. He is very cunning and careful about how he does it - it's very under the table and passive-aggressive, but he does it nonetheless. He cannot stand to feel that he has no control in our marriage. He counts on my fear and his threats and my need for closeness and affection. It's very wicked and very sick. Today, he claims to be a Christian and makes a show at church every Sunday. But he says that he doesn't really know if Christ is the only way or if there is an afterlife or if the bible is totally inerrant. He's very secretive about things and doesn't like his sin to be exposed. Recently, I had to go to our new pastor (we moved to a new area three months ago) to ask for help in a specific matter that had to do with his sin. Now, I had been sitting on this issue all summer and had given him plenty of time and space to be dealing with it, so it wasn't like I was just running to expose him at the first sign of sin. Since doing this, I have been emotionally and verbally lambasted. I assured him that I was not doing this to get back at him or act out of spite, but this issue had gotten to a point where I needed help in dealing with it properly. And then I said this: "You may have been able to bully me in many ways and in doing so, you may have gotten what you wanted. But this is where the buck stops. I will never, ever suppress or hide the truth because you threaten me or order me to do so. I am a Christian. And as a child of Christ I am commanded to speak the truth. And you are not my God, and you will not demand that I disobey Him in this way to satisfy you. I will get help and tell the truth whenever I see fit. And whatever you do in response is your business." He has stopped threatening, and we are to meet with the pastor in a week.

My point is this: There is power and protection under Christ and under a biblical church that will deal with both of you accordingly. As long as your heart is right before the Lord, as long as you are dealing with your own sin, as long as you are exhibiting a gentle and quiet spirit, the LORD WILL GO TO BATTLE FOR YOU. Be faithful, dear sister. I know it is painful. I know it is horrible to think of spending the rest of your days with a wicked, unrepentant man. But remember that God is for you, He created marriage and He is mighty to save. Now, let me be clear: The bible is very clear on provisions for divorce: Adultery and desertion. And some biblical churches would see some forms of continual and unrepentant abuse as permissible for divorce. I think this should be used as a very, very LAST resort.

If you aren't already, get into a strong, biblical church. And don't find one that just says, "God wants you to be happy and He wouldn't want you to remain in an unhappy, horrible marriage." If they say something like that, RUN, because they are not listening to the Holy Spirit, but the spirit of this age. Don't be deceived. Find a church who will be clear about what scripture says on marriage, what your options are, what merciful provisions the Lord provides, and go to a church that will come along side you and care for you and lift you up during this time.

Press on, Sister. The Lord can do mighty things. Trust him. Pray for your wicked husband, for if he doesn't repent, you and I know what a horrible end he has waiting for him. God will fight this battle for you if you put yourself fully in His hands.

I walked into the same trap I thougt my husband had a true conversion and that we would serve God together but after the wedding that wonderfull person disappeared again and I find myself standing alone and I have to take the lead in all matters regarding our faith He just isnt interested in serving God in truth and spirit But I am also to blame because if I'm honest I admit that I took the step without being totally sure and Romans 14:23 warns about that. But what I can testify is that my relationship with Jesus has grown in leaps and bounds! He is the reason why I can carry on! I do believe that everything that you do should be to the honour of God and if your marriage deteriorates and gives a place to evil in your life even after a period of serious prayer,council and attempts to reconciliation you should end it.Also if a non believer wants to leave the marriage the Bible states: Let him be gone! But ultimately God wants a powerfull ever growing deepening relationship with His children and it is from Him that you should get your final answer If you feel that God is asking you to stick it out there is a reason for it He sees the bigger picture where you tend to just see your circumstances That is why it is vitally important to spend more time with God in prayer and sc<x>ripture reading That is the way to get to know Him better as a Person-The Person who knows what you need to do! And from my experience I know that He takes you through it day by day situation to situation He shows you what you were meant to learn Sometimes He surprises you or show you His sense of humour but always there is something that encourages you or consoles you or gives you hope or taking care of your daily needs! In short you experience his Love for you! I'm sure its just the tip of the iceberg but I've started to realise the true meaning of The Joy of the Lord and His peace that transends all understanding And Im secure in the knowledge that God wants the same for my husband! If in the end he does not surrender to God it will not be because God does not want it!Blessings to every one who keeps their eyes on Jesus!

I am glad to have come across other women in similar situations. I too married and unbeliever. And in ways I therefore can not leave my Husband because of his actions. He too is mentally abusive. I have been struck, twice. He is a cop in a very dangerous district, so I understand his stress, frustration and hate for people. We have three little girls (who adore him), but they watch him treat me disrespectfully. The stronger a Christian I become the more hostile he becomes. He is Agnostic. He does not like me being involved in church or taking the girls on Sundays. (I have to be vague when I go to bible study's). He mocks all things Christ. I am crippled and he does not even help with the house work. (in three years he's done the dishes maybe six or seven times. I also 90% of the time do the "man's" work - save trash, he'll do that. He does help with the girls alot...he loves them. I know he is depressed. And I do pray steadfast for his heart not to be so hardened and for Christ to save him. He brings demons into the home by loving evil things and calling evil good. We celebrate Halloween because he is so hostel when I have tried to tell the children that is hurts God's feelings (they are small children). I feel bad complaining...but I am so tired and alone - I do seek the Lord in this matter, I pray and try so hard to be an example. It is hard, no joke...I am young in Christ...but I keep moving forward despite it all. I will NOT leave my husband though. He will need to leave me. He too has told me to leave him and the girls, I will not - as tough as it is, because through Christ I can endure. I Love God above all things - he is more than Fantastic!

Maybe he does not want God shoved at him all the time
I would hate to come home and have that done to me.
I know the bible talks of unevenly yoked but can work if both horses pull together

Try and see your husbands point of view and let it rest. He does not need Religion shoved in his face.
Take you children to church one hour a day on a Sunday he cannot complain about that but if you nagging and forever on about it he will jack up

You had the chance you knew he was not a Christian you cannot expect to change someone you got what you married.

If struck you then leave your church will help you (you hope) he does not have the right to do this.

He has told you to leave, listen carefully he may be trying to tell you something and remember the kids maybe the only reason he is stopping too.

Sounds to me like stay in marriage if you both wish but stop getting in each others faces and keep your religion where it belongs with you


I'm in this situation but with 3 children under 3 yo. Get out while you can, if he isn't willing to change. It only gets worse. You could try a separation and date him during, separate housing but still have a marriage bed. ie don't sleep around on each other or date others unless you decide to get a divorce. Pray about it, and listen to God. Above all else, be a Christ-like model for him. My husband has come a long way since we got together, now he goes to church and now he asks questions and listens in church starting out as a stong atheist and ending (now) as an agnostic with many questions. But he WANTS to change and that's where you must look, is he willing to change his behaviours?

Remember what Paul wrote: your husband is blessed by your salvation, even if he isn't saved. Who knows? Maybe, he will accept Christ. Maybe, he'll leave. Nobody can tell for sure. What you can tell, is that you can choose whether or not you stay with him.

You cannot make someone except Christ maybe he just does not wish too.

I would never marry somebody who said I had to believe or else. They could go their own road.

Too many people think they can change somebody when married it does not happen

For the ladies who were told that they were marrying another Christian well they were lied to and married under false pretences if they know their bible they would know marriage contract has been broken in eyes of their God so they are staying for other reasons.


I'm glad that your husband eventually became a christian. I was dating an unbeliever for years and he betrayed me, but instead of hating him, I ended the relationship and kept praying for him. I know that God will change him through his power but first I had to let go in order to let God. I still like him but will not entangle myself with him again unless he becomes a christian. If he doesn't, then that just means, he isn't the one and God will bring the right one across my part. I trust the Lord that He knows exactly how to work things out in our lives.

To dear christian sisters and brother,<br />
<br />
I am a christian and married much older christian man.<br />
I did respect him as my husband and we together have 3 young children.<br />
But as we live together disagreement between us is just about everythings.<br />
this few years i am doubting wether he is real christian. He wants to read bible by himself and when i ask him to pray he will tell me you pray or pray yourself and to your God.<br />
We had come long way and times that i really don't know what will happen of me and my children and doubt that he will change. He's verbal abuse is really mean and bad and spitt at me three times in front of children but i couln't do anything. partially i was pregynat at that time or caring young child and paying evil to evil is not good and not pleasing to the Lord God. He hit me few times when he can not control his anger and he told me everything is my fault.<br />
there were time that i believed my husband that i am not good enough and full of fault but over a time i realised that he has serious anger problem especially to close people around him. and i am the most close who live with him and know every things. <br />
He loves children very much but desen't want to displine children but give them whatever they want. But God's grace and answer to my prayer my oldest is become sensible and know what is good and bad. Like sweet, she will not eat anymore before meal but save it for later and loved to go to Sunday school. i can see she changed a lot. now i am having little difficult to my second daughter who is just turn 4 and she always gets sweet from her dad in the morning and start using some bad words to her sister. probabley she learnt form her father. I told her clearly that she should not use those bad word and it will make God very sad...<br />
I have faith in God. some times are very difficult and just want to get out but i do believed that i need to protect my children. and He has asked me many time just live him and children.<br />
I can not. even though it is suffering at this time, how can i excuse to God?<br />
I am going to stand very strong and not to give up but tell him what is right but not following everything what he wants. I did last 9years but now learnt to say No and pray about it.<br />
It is amazing that our real God can give such peace in times of trials. I read a lot nowaday. bible and christian books. it makes me strong christian and i know that other some people having more difficut time than me and i pray that God will be with you as well. Let us not give up but pray to God and belived that He will deal according to his perpose. and try to grow strong christian and if you don't know pray to God how and ask him to teach you and you really want to be his child.<br />
Dear friend, this world is not fair to us. isn't it ? but that is what bible said and not to be scar about it but stend strong in Jesus christ.

I think your very ignorant because of this quote " We as Christians have an inner peace...a peace that transcends all understanding" the only thing you Christians have is a religion which thats great but don't ever say your better then anyone were all equal ALL, other then that you should leave your husband.

I am in a very similiar situation as you and feel your pain. My husband said (and acted) like a christian before we got married. I knew my walk was further along than his but I still thought he was a believer. Since our wedding, I know now that he's not. Yes, he goes to church with me but rarely prays with me. His language and actions don't match-up, as well. I feel very bad about things said in our home that would offend God but pray each day that me and my household will serve You, Lord. As far as the verbal abuse, I've been through that, too. He tells me that he goes for the jugular when he's mad but that's no excuse for some of the terrible things he's said to me when fighting. I've also felt unsafe a couple of times even though he hasn't ever hit me. We've talked abou this and he has been better about his temper but I wonder if or when it'll come back and if I truly am in danger. I know if he ever did hit me, I would leave. I don't think God wants us in that kind of situation although I do wonder about things said. It's so hard to live this life together. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers...

As a domestic violence counselor-intern, I recommend that you visit a domestic violence counselor in your area and began counseling with her as soon as possible. God does want us to value and place importance on our marriage but I don't think we're to be abused and frightened by the our husband in the process. <br />
<br />
Seek out a domestic violence counselor in your area and if you cannot find one, visit this site and telephone the national number:<br />
<br />
the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.<br />
<br />

The problem is not that you married a man who is not "saved". The problem is that you married an immature *******. Nothing to do with magic sky daddies.

I'm also married to a man that doesn't serve God. I know that at times it is hard and you feel alone and you feel that he is never going to give his life to God.<br />
However, We serve An ALMIGHTY GOD! God is in control. Pray to God. Open your heart to Him. Stay on your knees. You will set an example for your husband. <br />
<br />
My husband still does not serve God, but I can see a difference in his attitude towards me and God. There is two verses in the Bible that really comforts me when I'm low.<br />
1Co 7:13 And if a Christian woman is married to a man who is an unbeliever and he agrees to go on living with her, she must not divorce him.<br />
1Co 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by deing united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband. If this were not so, their children would be like pagan children; but as it is, they are acceptable to God.<br />
<br />
I trust this will give you new hope and comfort you. God is a loving God. We are his children. He wants us to be happy.<br />
<br />
Love <br />
LB<br />
<br />
<br />

locking doors is one thing, domestic violence is completely another. GET OUT!

WARNING:This will be LONG. I've witnessed a lot of couples who gone through this many times. I believe you have hope to save your marriage!!!! (:<br />
<br />
1) Watch FireProof. no joke; it's really GOOD. It's about these who couples who are in a troubled marriage & about to get a divorce, but the husbands father makes his son do this Love Dare thing for 40 days to his wife & tries to save their marriage. There is an actually book Love Dare you two or you can try. <br />
<br />
2) I've once heard a story about this woman who was married to a non-believer Christian. Every morning, she'll wake up & make him breakfast with coffee & newspaper for him. Everyday she would go to church & pray to the Lord that her husband would come around & be blessed as much as she is for almost 40 years of their marriage. Whenever she'll come home from church, her husband would lock all their doors,so she will not be able to come in. She would sleep on the porch, but instead of being anger or anything; she would pray & the following open he'll unlock the door for her & again, with a smile on her face she'll make him breakfast & tell him how much she loves him. <br />
<br />
One morning, when she was making breakfast like any other day, her husband busted out in tears with loads of questions. "Even when I lock you out for going to church, you come home with a smile on your face & make me a warm breakfast?! And you still here, loving me after all why?" & as soon as she saw this happening, she knew her answers to her prayers were being answered. She had explained how she is the Child of God & how even through all that; she loved God & she loved him because she knew deep down inside God will save her marriage & her husband. After that is just history; he started going to church with her & he became the son of God!!<br />
<br />
3) I have this family friend & this woman is really strong believer in Christ. She goes to church everyday & been married to husband alittle over 30 years & he wasn't Christian. My parents & I, and of course, herself; we always prayed to God that He'll use us to plant sees into this man's heart everytime he over hears our conversation about our loving Father. One day to a doctors visit, they've found a trumor look-alike & he had been frighten that it could've been cancer. We all prayed for him that it was nothing serious & for couple weeks we continued to pray the same thing over & over again. When he went to get another check up, they said it wasn't anything serious & that it was cureable with meds!! (AHMEN!!) When he got home that day, when he turned on his T.V it just happened to be on a Gospel channel & was a serman about how God loves us & how He forgives us for our sins! Now, he is going to church & it is such a blessing to see him so blessed. I'm thankful that we & his wife never gave up on him!!!<br />
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4) This is personally experience since it had happen to my own father. My mother was always a believer in Christ & again, like every other stories I've told you here today, she prayed everyday or whenever she can about her husband being saved. I don't think my dad a "strong" believer in Christ, but he still has faith in Him more than he ever had. My mom & I pray for him everyday, but just to see how far he has come from not being a believer to having that little faith is a big step!<br />
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So, what I'm trying to say is; have faith! Believe in our God that he'll do the unexpected! The Devil knows that you are a strong believer in Christ who has this incredible relationship with the Lord & is gonna be blessed in so many ways! The Devil knows that God will bless you & your husband soon, so he is trying to do whatever it takes for you to lose that faith in the Lord & for your husband not to get that blessing! Hang in there & just continue to pray & worship the Lord. Be thankful to the Lord that the Devil is JEALOUS of your relationship with the Lord. (Kind of sad how the Devil is jealous .. what a lame-o!!) <br />
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Please, do not give up just yet. I believe there's HOPE to save your marriage!!! It won't be easy, but always remember God is there to listen and to talk too! He will answer your prayers!!! (: I wish you the best & I will also pray for you & your husband! (:

What a wonderful message Lizzie. I found this thread because I was looking for encouragement as I am married to a non believer and it gets pretty tough sometimes. The last part of your post here was what I needed to hear. Although your words were for someone else I felt as though I were reading a message written for me. God bless you and the writer of the original thread for taking the time to write from your heart; your words are reaching more people than you know :)

LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE!!!! I have to be blunt because I married a so-called Christian man who would hit me, the wall, tried to kill me, put his hands around my throat, call me names, make me cry on purpose because he thought it was funny. 9 years of that and I didnt leave because I thought I would go to hell for abandoning my marriage. I finally went home to my parents, got a clear head and filed for divorce. I am so glad i did and life went on without him and God loves me! Christian or not, verbal and physical abuse to anyone is WRONG! And there is a way out!!! Communicate with those who love you!!!!!

I\'m so sorry that this happened to you. But there is a difference between hitting and threatening to kill (which are illegal) and a husband that makes his wife cry and is cruel. I don\'t think anyone here would tell a woman to stay in the same house with a husband who is threatening physical well-being. But I think our humanistic and \"God just wants me to be happy\" culture goes easily to far, and being in \"danger\" suddenly equals \"being unhappy.\" I\'m not saying that\'s what you did. If a husband is hitting you and threatening your life, then by all means, FLEE! But I think there is a huge difference between that and a husband that is perpetually unkind and verbally harsh with his wife. As Christians, we belong to Christ. If we belong to Christ, then we are under His authority regarding what we should or should not do. The bible makes clear two provisions for a believer to divorce: adultery and desertion. Now, some biblical churches would coin certain kinds of abuse as desertion, and I wouldn\'t argue with them on that. But just feeling better and happier doesn\'t equal God\'s peace or blessing. Just a thought. (And again, I\'m not saying you shouldn\'t have left. He obviously hit you and threatened your life. I would\'ve done the same.)

I can understand what you are going through dear sister in Christ. <BR><br />
As it is written in the Bible that one spouse can be a medium of slavation for another by his/her faith & love life. But no one can guarantee the pain & suffering in it. That's why Paul says not to be yoked with the unbelievers. But Jesus says we should not divorce also without a reason of adultery. <BR><br />
I can give an example of a lady who prayed for 50 years and after that her husband accepted Jesus as his personal saviour....But he was not abusive as your husband is. <BR><br />
I am really feeling empathetic to your situation. Pray hard...& I will tell my wife about you and we both will be praying for you ernestly. <BR><br />
Remember those who go through much suffering, they become good partners of Jesus who suffered the most. They are the closest people of Jesus. <BR><br />
Please keep on informing... <BR><br />
May God give you strength to bear the suffering...

Your faith or lake of in your husband's case, is not the issue here.<BR>All the mixed faith couples that I know work around the differences in their beliefs.<BR>So please ask yourself the following, Would my husband pay more attention to a non-Christian marriage therapist?, if he's a non-believer all the faith based therapy in the world won't help him.<BR>Am I safe in this marriage? putting you down & verbal abuse can be forms of mental abuse.<BR>The day he punches YOU and not the walls LEAVE.<BR>The reason this pattern started after the marriage is wifebeater's Treat the the girlfriend & Beat the wife.<BR>His lack of faith is not the reason he is like is like this, my dad went to church every sunday, yet he still beat both his wives.<BR>Check out the group, Am a Survivor of Domestic Violence

Pray to your God about it. Put this in his hands.

I'm with bitlord, say you'll leave... Then leave. Being kind and staying isn't always love.

i beg to differ,. to be happily maried doesnt mean you both have to be christians ,look elsewhere for the causes of your could just be the fact that you and those who support you ,keep remindihg your husband of how bad he is just becos hes not a christian.goodluck

something .... => nick vujicic

something .... => nick vujicic

Sweetie I can not believe anyone ( non believer or believer) would ever treat their spouse this way. You are so nice and encouraging when you comment on my situations I hope I can do the same. Keep praying. The answer will come to you. If you feel even in the tiniest way that you should leave by all means go. Don't stay in a dangerous or potentially dangerous situation. If you feel like you should stay then stay. Listen to your guts =)

Thanks for your comment. I just have to draw more strength from the Lord. My husband will never be healed of his anger unless he gives it up to God. We are praying for him daily. :)

I am so sorry you are having to go through this by the man you love. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. And you are right you can't ity yourself.<br />
As far as when the abuse crossed the line...well, abuse comes in many forms...but abuse is abuse. I understand that in an arguement we all say things we regret, but puting you down in front of people is not argument based. <br />
Please be careful because when you are abused in one way it becomes much easier to accept abuse in other areas. The abuse escalates to a danger point.<br />
You are a strong lady and it took courage to admit the pain you feel in your new marriage,