I Need Help... I Cant Stop

I am a 20 almost 21 year old girl... I have been ************ on a regular basis since I was fifteen, before that i started to explore myself quite a bit.. I can't stop... i ********** at least twice a day if i don't have sex... I get anxious if i don't and i get anxiety and i get angry.. I will ********** for hours at one time.. its ruining me.. it makes me hate myself.. sometimes i watch **** or other times i think about stuff thats buging me in my life while i do it... and sometimes i fall asleep while doing it.... I need help, I don't know what to do... i lock myself in my room for hours and i'll be late to things because i do it... I have four vibrators that i use at the moment... :/ i have tried not using them or throwing them away... but then all of a sudden after about three days - a week i'll panick and use something in my house to ********** and hurt myself...:( i've gotten slightly better about not doing it until i bleed but once in a while i do and then i scare myself.... does anyone have any advice? i need help :(
icantflyforever89 icantflyforever89
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 2, 2010

As an older person it is now easier to see - and related to - what you describe. The slightest negative feeling would drive me to do it. And like you I could be thinking about negative things or troubles and so on. Well, it made me feel better for a little while. <br />
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The thing is - if you weren't feeling the pressure of negative thinking - you wouldn't be driven so hard. I agree with the above 2 comments - distraction and finding other things to do is good. But even better is if you can un-tangle the connections in your mind so that you aren't pushed into doing it.<br />
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There's some truth in the old view that young people should be kept very busy and pretty much run to physical exhaustion - so they eat and rest proper. Thing is, we don't tend to be so tough on ourselves, do we? So we are forced to look to ourselves and how we understand others and the world - that's where the pressure is coming from. Not from others - but from our reaction to them. Does this make sense to you?

Find a hobby that will take you away from the computer and any other **** source. I'm learning how to speak and write Korean and just finish a two year course on Spanish. I have the same problem with ************ all times of the day. Even trying out new ways of releasing myself. Every time I think about ************ I leave the house and take a drive anywhere. But sometime I really have to fight it because of all the adult bookstore around my house. I try so hard and I think that I'm doing better every month. I do have some pitfalls here and there, but over time I will be better. I still ********** 4 to 6 times a day but that is better then 9 to "who know" amount just a couple of months ago.<br />
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************ is great but try not to hurt or put yourself in danger. Just try to slow down, hang with your friends more, go walk or work out. So many ways to slow down mastrubating, just find want works for you and try it.