I Don't Like Life Anymore...

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, just maybe, these feelings are all in my head or I'm having a bad nightmare that I have to wake up from-a nightmare that's lasted for more than 8 months. I realized I was depressed 9 months ago, when I asked people if it was possible to know by urself whether or not u were depressed. The answer was yes. Not an answer I reli wanted. People didn't get it. They thought I was just fishing for compliments when I made little quips about my looks and my personality. The daily 'Oh, u're nuts! Your look fabulous!' and 'You're smart, u're loved...wat more do you want?' doesn't do much good to my senses; it just makes me feel worse. I feel like they're all looking down at me in pity and that I am just another burden this earth has to bear mostly because it has no choice. I wish I could feel better about myself.

lifesuxbigtime lifesuxbigtime
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 19, 2007

I'm in torment every second in my life

Hi, am understand what you have written, i will never say I understand one persons depression as we all suffer differently, but it is so hard, people mean well but being told to push through and all people feel this way, makes me feel guilty, i tried to deny that I had clinical depression for a long time, i tried every anti depressant, i am very sesitive so bad side effects, trying st johns, making me not sleep and hot sweats.....last monday i could not even get my kids out of bed, i let them stay home, not helpful for them, but i just could not move, so i was thinking too, is it all in my head ( well i guess the answer would be yes, not in the sense you ment though) its our neuro transmitters...I wish there was a test to see how our levels are in our brain and why we suffer so much..... I just want to be normal and function...I get through the day to day stuff, because I believe I have to because of the kids, who else is going to do it!!!! but its so hard...my psych said to me, that we put to much pressure on ourselfs, just putting one foot in front of the other on our bad days is enough, that we should give ourselves a pat on the back when we have acheived little things, like - the dishes, or getting dressed.....I dont know I just wish it would go away.....am trying to exercise now,see how that works form....now thats going to be interesting-just have to get to the gym!