She Could Probably Write This Story Better....

   We finish each other's sentences. We use to be closer when I was in my twenties...We lost some of our relationship when I started seeing Shane again. He had hurt me so much over the years and momma holds grudges. She knew he wouldn't stick it out and knew that he was going to hurt me again.

  I got really mad at her and our relationship suffered. We're still not where we were but now that he's gone, it is getting better. She's trying to be supportive, but there is a part of me that hides now. I know that she's happy he's gone, and there are parts of me that is too, but I miss him too. I don't say anything to her because I know that she doesn't feel that he was good enough for me....

  I keep parts of me private now because I don't want her to feel she has to act sad or sympathetic around me. I want her to be able to say what she thinks and how she feels because she's spent the last year and a half walking around eggshells with Shane and I. I figure it's just my turn now. I keep the part of me that misses him, the love we had (when it was good) deep down inside. It hurts sometimes but I need to get over him alone...

    I just want our relationship to become strong and close again without losing myself in the process. Don't know if I'll be able to do that but maybe I'll be able to eventually. She's all I've got now. She's proven time and again that she's the only person I can count on not to leave me. She's always there..... If only I could find a romantic/real love that would be as unconditional as my momma's love is.



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1 Response Feb 16, 2009

You are filled with a heart wrapped in so much love that,one beautiful day some guy will see it,and never let you get away!With what you have to offer,be so careful and be choosie, You will always have a love for the other guy.Your thoughts will not be out front anymore once you find another.As for the first one,He will go into a room in your heart and stay there.If there are times you want to open that door to look inside,it's ok,then you will close it once more.In live there are people we never fully get over Someday you may find that door is locked but that comes in time.I'm going out side and check out the plant I named after you!Take good care of you!We will chat later, lots of hugs,Trails ps I loved your beautiful story!You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!