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Taurean South Paw

My life has been full of trips, bumps, bruises, spills, and shatters! I need full body armor... and a bib!

I used to work in the kitchen of a restarant. I was constantly around hot burners, sharp knives, and grinding blades. YOu can see where THAT'S leading! When I wasn't getting burned or cut, I was dropping plates, food, containers, or drinks! One day I watched a small diamond from my engagement ring bounce into a Chef Salad I was preparing. As it was rush hour, I quickly sifted through the lettuce, couldn't find the stone, and sent the plate on out to the customer! lol

As a child I managed to fall through the glass front door at my Grandmother's house. I power- pushed the middle of the glass while racing cousins out the door. The glass shattered from the top to middle, and I had to stay bent over the door frame until my uncle carefully pushed me back through, since sharp shards were mere centemeters from my belly! I was sliced from biceps to wrists on both arms! Most of the scars have faded, except the one on my wrist that looks like a failed suicide attempt! 

As a child and teen, within 7 years, I'd managed to step on 7 nails! I should be dead from lock jaw by now! And speaking of feet, when I first joined EP, I had a broken foot! I had stepped off a chair while trying to hang a curtain,and put my foot down on my son's sippy cup. THe cup spun backwards, and I shot forward! The chair fell towards the trash can, the trashcan tipped over spilling debris all over the floor! Simultaniously, I was falling, and tried to catch myself with my... armpit! I cracked or fractured some ribs along the way. My foot landed first and twisted sideways, ending in that nauseating POP sound. And from there I crashed HARD to my bottom! The break in the foot was non displaced (meaning it was NOT set in proper place), but I couldn't afford to get it set. However, 4 days later, while hobbling down carpeted stairs, I caught my broken foot on the stair, felt another POP that actually felt good, and I think the fracture went back into place! 

And I'm probably one of the very few that can drop a FORK off the counter and have it stick straight up in my Big toe until I had to remove it!


emerald emerald 36-40, F 8 Responses Jul 13, 2009

Your Response


ROFL, fae!! I must say, I think you might be the only person to hit your head on the "safty" bar in the bathroom!! Looks like that bar wasn't so SAFE! :O DO tell, what were you down there checkin to have your head bent over like that???!!!:O LOL

I love reading these clumsy stories because it is like I am not the only one who is this clumsy I have a bruise from walking into the stove handle and manages to bump my head on the safety bar in the bathroom at work I had a ladder fall out from under me when I was a kid it just makes me laugh to think about it and to read these stories

YEah, and HIS advice and treatment after seeing the x-ray??: Wrap and bind it, stay off foot as much as possible,... and don't worry about. Your foot is deformed anyways!" Gee, THANKS Doc!!! :O

Hazardous to your health?????<br />
You work in a doctor's office o_O

Yes, June... I should come with a sign that says: Hazzardous To YOur HEalth! lol. Actually, my sister says my life t-shirt says: Must be supervised at all times! heehehe

I can't decide if you're damn lucky or the other way around! LOL Em, I guess from now on, I'll keep my distance a little bit :) :) :)

ROFLMBO, CJ! I always thought I had BAD luck, but when you think of it like you have.... yep, I truely have been blessed and watched over .... from DEATH or MAIMING!! :O

Your so full of luck. God is watching out for you.......