I Am A Codie...

My wife is an alcoholic.  I enabled her.  I helped her by buying the stuff.  The sex was great because she was dulling her pain and could get over it.  Sober she has no desire.  She feels ashamed of herself because of alcohol fueled sexual activities before we met.  She is sober now, I support her.  I won't buy the booze...I sure do miss the sex....Does that make me a bad person?

another40 another40
46-50, M
4 Responses May 18, 2010

The good news is she is not drinking, since obviously that seemed to be a problem.<br />
<br />
Not that it's all on you, but try to gently connect with her in intimate emotional endearing ways. <br />
<br />
Support her by telling her how much you love her, how beautiful she is, how she is your best friend (hopefully these are true).<br />
<br />
It may take some time but if she can find her true self again with your love and support, she may gain that confidence again. Fertilize the rose :)

I am a bad person, I would feed my husband dog food if it would get me lucky ..........no not anymore. But 6 months ago I would have done anything<br />
<br />
You are doing the right thing, take the high road. What is best isn't always easy.<br />
maybe when she recovers some self esteem she will have some sexuality back<br />
<br />
Good luck

I can empathise with you. I wish mine was dry now.<br />
Hang in there, you know it is for the best.<br />
Do you think it would help by talking to your wife and explaining your side of the situation?<br />
Wishing you all the best for the future.

no but your sacrifice is a big one. A bad person would continue to feed her alchohol so you can get off. I"m glad you don't.