Wow, That Was Hard!!

I have been in a relationship for 8 years.  Many many days were spent wishing I could walk away because our personalities just didn't connect.  I stayed this whole time and married him after 7 years.  The whole time I thought that I just couldn't walk away because there was a lot of love there and I felt that I could not live without him.  Now I realize that it was co-dependency.  I never could let him leave my side. I wanted to give him some freedom but I couldn't.  I couldn't sleep if he were not next to me.  I smothered him.  Just a couple months ago he pushed me away until I was forced to leave him.  That was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  But now I have a goal to work on my co-dependency and why I am that way.  I still miss him but It's time to work on myself.

mlpete mlpete
31-35, F
4 Responses Oct 23, 2008

I was that way, and slip in to those patterns in new love relationships. I found out my codependency had a more specific symptom, even still. LOVE ADDICTION. Check it out. It will blow your mind.

What's wrong with wanting him to be next to you when you wake up? I have a relationship and she reacts the same way.. hates being left alone at night

you are very strong and self aware. good job!!! not many people come to those realizations and then they just go to the next and start all over. I was co dependant at one point in my life too but I came to the realization as well. Now I am in a relationshipwhere we allow each other to breath. good job

I'm sorry for your pain. <br />
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I think we all have a little bit of codependency issues...humans aren't meant to be alone...sometimes we just pick the wrong person and stay with them because we don't think we can do any better or because we don't think anyone else will ever love us/stay with us again...but it's just not true.<br />
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Somewhere in the world someone is just waiting to love you for being the special person that you are...make yourself available to that person today in mind and in spirit. <br />
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