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Struggling

So, I'm almost thirty years old. I know I'm gay, and I''ve known for a long time. I'm a strong person who doesn't really fear what other people think, by and large. The thing is, my mom died when I was ten, and making her proud of who I am is the most important thing in my world. Even when I do things I know she wouldn't be proud of, I still know what she'd say. I have no idea what she would say to me if I told her I was a lesbian. No idea. Nothing makes me miss her more than my sexuality. Living a lie is eating me alive. I'm ready to tell the world....but I'm afraid that I'll always be uncomfortable with myself without her blessing. I have great friends and I know they'll support me. But, this is so hard. I'm ready to be honest with myself and all of the wonderful people in my life, I'm ready to be happy, I'm just struggling. Thank you for this site - this outlet - from the bottom of my heart.
Peifergk Peifergk 26-30 1 Response Jan 24, 2012

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I'm sure your mom wanted you to be happy and live your life. She'll be sad if you live an unhappy life. You will make her proud by living in a happy life.