Coming Out To Family: Easiest And Hardest Thing I've Ever Done

I just recently came out of the closet to my family. It was a bizarre, painful, wonderful and liberating experience.

For months now I've been struggling with my feelings: do I or don't I come out? I had finally come to terms with the fact that I am indeed a lesbian. This took five years to figure out (I'm 19 now). The painful part was determining whether or not I was ready for others to know. The problem with that is I felt as though I was lying to the world. It hurt me so much to pretend and to hide an essential part of who I am. 

During my first year of college, I made wonderful friends who helped me discover myself. They were the first ones to find out I was gay. All of them were open-minded people whom I trusted completely. It felt natural and right to tell them. One by one, I slipped it into our conversation and their response was always positive and supportive. I honestly don't think I could have come this far without them.

Now comes the hard part: my family.

I came home for the summer and brooded for about two weeks, desperate to come to a decision. The weird thing is that I knew without a doubt that they would accept me for who I am no matter who I loved. We are just that kind of family, open-mind and open-heart to all who need it. I love my family for that. But I still struggled with telling them the truth. I didn't want anything to change: I was scared they might look at me or talk to me differently. I was scared they might not believe me, because I had recently broken up with my boyfriend (mostly because he helped me realize I really was not into guys at all, but he also sucked as far as boyfriends go) I didn't want them to think that just because I had one crappy relationship, I'd think all guys were the same and was jumping to conclusions. 

Many opportunities to come out presented themselves to me, but I always held back in fear. Then, one night at dinner I decided I had had enough of hiding and running away. I said to them: "I have something really important to say. This was something I'd been thinking about since the 7th grade and it is important to me that you all know. I like girls." I then immediately started crying. I wasn't expecting to cry, it came to me as a shock. I told them I didn't think it would be so emotional. Then my mom said "wow..." And started to applaud. The rest of my family joined in. My mom and sister said that I was really brave to do something like this, my brother held me until I could stop crying, and my dad said "well, you know we will always love you no matter what" in that nonchalant way that made it all seem like no big deal.

It was honestly the best reaction they could have given me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders and everything was normal again. I was normal, my feelings were normal, and my family treat me exactly the same as before, like nothing has happened. I am so blessed to have such a loving and understanding family! Thanks to them, I feel human again.
Yadrutas Yadrutas
1 Response May 13, 2012

Thats so good that reacted like that! You must be very happy! I wish my coming out had worked that way... instead mum found a letter that I had written (but not given it to) a girl who I love very much. She didnt really believe me at first, but I think she's starting to. Then a few months after that I wrote her a letter telling her that I like girls and I hope she can be proud of me and understand etc. She didnt talk to me about it until just recently she said we should 'have a talk', but nothing has really happened.