Finally I Told My Parents.......

I knew I like women when I was 12 yrs old(I am 28 now),but being born and brought up in India where practicing homosexuality was a crime till 2009 it was and still is really hard to come out of the closet.
But I understood one thing very early that I just cant lead a life pretending someone else. I guess I am little claustrophobic(so now u can imagine how suffocating it felt being in closet for me) And suppressing basic urges was not an option either. So I waited patiently to tell some people about my identity. Now, I hv a larger family in my mom's side, and we are quite close.Through these yrs I came out to my younger brother, my maternal aunt and uncles and many of my frnds. Some of them are quite homophobic but they loves me vary much and yes its hard to accept but eventually they understood(sum of them are still trying hard to cope!!).
But all these years I couldnt come out to my parents. I am their only daughter and in India every parent dreams to give their daughter a grand wedding from the day the girl born. My parents talked a lot abt my wedding too. They as usual started preparing for the wedding very early though the groom is not even selected.
I felt so guilty and sad for unable to comply with their one single wish;to watch me getting married and settled down. God they love me and my brother so much!!! My bro often asked me what i am gonna do about it? I never had any answers.

Last week my mom called me to her room to show me some jeweleries she got from the shop and was chirping so happily imagining how good i am gonna look with banarasi sari (Indian wedding dress)and those jeweleries. I couldnt take it any more and started sobbing with grief. my confused mother asked me what happened?!! Then told her how I feel....
She was dumbstruck.. I told her that some of my friends already knows and they are straights and they dont hate me!!!
After some time.. her first question was....'How come u tell ur frnds about this and not us? u r our own..isnt it!!!'
That night when my father returned from work, mom told him and finally after a long conversation they told me "No matter what happened, u r our child and we love you."
They are still marinating the fact about their daughter being so utterly different and debate over if there any ways to treat this thing, but they are definitely not pressurizing me and trying to understands me...

See,Indian culture is much different from the western cultures. We like to live with our parents. Even if we have to move out due to our work or anything, we try to take them with us. May be sum of u guys think its gross to live with ur parents, but hey its our way and mostly we like it.
Now, I feel as free as a bird. 90% of my family knows about me and still loves me.. I am really lucky to have these people in my life...


P.S. Those people who are scare to death to come out to their parents...before u tell them anything about u, wait for a min and try to place urself in their shoes. they love u but its a hard fact to digest. its kind of, suppose, when u were a kid and one day,out of no where if ur parents comes to u and declares they r gonna be separated...I know the situations not the same...but the scary feeling, that all along u didnt knew anything about this person in front of u and u cant imagine what's gonna happen next, is quite the same...and trust me...grown ups get scared a lot ..its just they prefer not to admit it.
Have little patience with ur family...after all they are ur own...right....!!!!
sizzles27 sizzles27
26-30, F
2 Responses May 23, 2012

As a half-indian person raised in the U.S, i found your story very inspiring. Congrats to you!

Thanx!!!!!!!!!

i admire the courage that you had, coming out to your parents. im 31 now and still hiding in my closet..though few of my friends knew about me, but not with my family...<br />
my friends are kept on telling me that maybe my family noticed it but they are just in denial...<br />
how many times i tried to tell them but i always lost the courage to do so...at this age of mine, so hard for me spending everyday of my life pretending to be someone else that i'm not..:(

life is just too short to be that unhappy everyday...tell ur parents tukog. if they dont get u,its alright,they are old and also has right to be themselves just as us. but think how relieved u'll b.
and i dont know abt ur frnds, bt usually our families doesn't notice,there are one or two who notices all by themselves and accept all along. just be free dear, u have nothing to loose.
Cheer Up.... :)