The Small Hints....

I'm 13 and I'm a lesbian. Ive already come out to 2 people (my dad and my grandma) so now im trying to tell my mom. Its been hard the past year because she got married to an absolute ***** and became a Christian because of him. Its kinda funny because the last guy she was with was Muslim and she said she was going to become Muslim because it "suited" her more. oh well, whatever. That's a completely different story and im getting off topic. So anyways she's divorcing this guy and now she's starting to go back to her normal self instead of being a ***** all the time like she usually is. There are some downsides of this though. For example, now she's started back smoking, which isn't that big of a deal i guess. At least now she's becoming more open-minded. I remember sometime around December(ish) we were talking and I said something like "im not getting married." and she said something and i said, "well what if i got married to a girl?" and all she said was, "youre not getting married to a girl." I wanted to punch her for a split second. we changed the subject.

The other day, however, we were talking about her divorce and she told me, "If a guy doesn't want to be with you, don't beg him to stay" or something like that. all i said was "Uh huh, yeah mom i know...." but i said it with a bit of an attitude, so then she was like "or whoever you choose to be with" (meaning a girl)
She's said things like that on a few occasions, so I'm guessing she'd be OK with it now if i told her.

I'm also trying to come out to my cousin, who is like an older sister to me. she's told me i can talk to her about anything so I'm 100 % sure she'd be ok with it. The only problem is, she lives up in Indiana with the rest of my family and we have some trouble staying in contact. I really really really wanna tell her though cause if i don't itd be like im hiding something from her when shes a really important person in my life and shes a great role model.

I absoulutely need to tell my best friend ASAP because I'm pretty sure he's been in love with me since we were like 4..I know it will hurt him but i want him to know in case he tries something in the future or whatever. Not to mention it would be awkward if i didnt because he's like a brother to me and i love him very much, just not that way.. I might have a bit of trouble with that though because his dad's one of the most Unopen minded people i know and its rubbing off on my friend. I hope it will all turn out alright with him in the end.
That's my story. Thanks if you actually bothered to read it! :)
jabber13 jabber13
18-21, M
3 Responses Sep 16, 2012


Your story was really helpful I'm am exactly like u I'm 13 and struggling with all the same problems as you. I go to a super preppy private school and I seriously doubt half the kids there Evan know what being gay means let alone be able to except it. I've tried to tell my parents but they won't believe me and keep saying I'm to young to know and that I need to just drink some tea and ill feel fine. It's super frustrating and I don't know what to do I told a teacher at school and my BFF. But I would really like to meet another teen lesbian, who's going through the same stuff I am.


well hey you can talk to me if you like. i could try to help or something

you go girl :) U will do it!