I Am Coming Out To Mom That I Dress As A Sissy Boy
I agree with the points made by Melodie and please let me add a few thoughts to her wise words.
Boys who like dressing as a girl, or think they might, should work up the nerve to tell mom the way they prefer to dress, by focusing on the likely good outcomes, not the downside risks. And even if doing this just for a time of fun, relaxation or to feel more calm inside (and behaving better as a bonus), plan to start off dressing slowly while getting mom, and dad if around, used to occasionally seeing you as a girl or dressing in girl's attire (like just a girl's top). Initially be careful not to do anything upsetting to your parents in girl-mode, or be seen by the wrong people dressed, that might bring a backlash to you about dressing as a girl. Careful of hateful neighbors and local boy bullies especially.
Hang with girls and maybe a good boy-buddy while in girl-mode. You want this to be as pleasant as new experience for everyone as possible. Let your friends know you still want their friendship but just in a slightly different expression of yourself. If you are acting your true girl-self than slowly they will start treating you as a girl or a girly-boy, and sometimes better than before in boy-mode! There is time later when you're more established and accepted by your family as a girl-self to deal with the conservative hard nuts out there to crack ...
Now years ago it used to be a major shame for a boy to dress as a girl, and would have to take a lot of extreme excuses to do so -- as punishment (for teasing girls or looking up their skirts etc.), for some medical cause, or just a "sister dressed me up" thing, but nowadays there is a lot of public acceptance that doing so for just expressing one's gender self (being a gender nonconforming child) is not all that unusual so wanting to or "needing to" dress as the opposite sex to be one's true self is not all that unusual, at least in the news media even if no acquaintances are doing this. And of course girls still love to dress up boys as girls just for fun and games so that's common no matter what era we live in. And today it's even a more acceptable game and fun.
Also it might be useful to FIRST express this girly-desire to your sister or a girl-play-friend who lives nearby, and first practice dressing with them at their place. Then have them tag along to give you support when you have your dressing-discussion with your mother (something like "mom I would like to have my friend Sally here when I ask you something ..okay?" etc.) Keep the topic light and when you've got the okay-light, get out of there fast ...LOL! When mom sees that another girl accepts your dressing preferences and then the friend says "it's cool ... we've done this a couple of times at my place and he looks pretty dressed up and is even a nicer friend and boy when dressed up as a girl" then it helps reassure mom that it just might be okay and not a totally freaky thing. Afterall, if other kids are cool with this, then it's really no big deal is it?
Mom is likely not to immediately be able to imagine her son dressed as a girl, so first thing she might think is her son would look strange or queer. Or turning gay by wanting to dress as a girl. So when back in boy-mode be sure to act boy-normal so mom's fears don't run away with her that you aren't going off the deep girly end quickly. Of course, if you have always leaned towards preferring feminine colors, activities, and behaviors then it might not come as much of a shock that you might care to experiment dressing up as a girl now-and-then. Present it more as a fun-play thing to begin with, rather than would like to live as a girl full-time so it's just a slow stepping up to whatever level you wish to take this side of yourself.
And when you do first dress in front of mom make your outfit and hair either very play-like (costume/era style) or in everyday dress normal conservative, cute and well fitting dress or skirt. Don't go for the too frilly, too short or too tight of dress -- skip or save some styles for later when "normal" is established and already seen by others enough not to think you've gone crazy. It would be useful to start off with a girl play-friend with you so your mom sees you together and how normal it all seems and how your friend fully accepts you no matter how you are dressed. And helps prevent mom from asking too many questions right off if you're alone with her (though she might do later when alone with you). Or maybe just start off wearing girl pants and tops as a go-slower approach, then switch to wearing dresses once it all seems pretty normal day-to-day, then is no big change in your appearance. I like the start slow, begin to act more feminine in small increments, then go for the dresses and cute accessories approach myself.
And always ... behave as a girl when dressed as one! .... not as a boy making fun of girl-wear, like too often is seen in videos elsewhere where sisters dress up their brothers. Keep your legs together when sitting, smooth out that skirt and don't bend over and flash your panties by accident! There is ways to act girly and demure, so watch how other nice girls act and move. Also don't go too overly girly in your mannerisms, but enough on the feminine side to be taken as a girl by strangers and be extra polite and helpful. If possible, DO start to help mom out more at home in a daughterly role (helping set dinner table, vacuum, take clothes to washer, or even do the wash). Even wear an apron when doing so you look the part. And smile and be happy while you do these tasks. Mom will appreciate your girly self more this way!
When mom sees a real positive benefit in terms of better behavior from you, and that you are now taking some work-load burden off her with you in girl-mode that she couldn't get from you in boy-mode, then she might just think "well, maybe having a boy-girl isn't so bad after all!" Plus try to bond with your mother more as a girl then you did as a boy (be more cheerful, polite, and helpful to her). You might even have a joint nail painting party and you do her nails for her, or her toenails! Try to encourage her to do some mommy-daughter things, like going shopping or getting your hair done together!
I suggest starting off slowly in the amount of time dressing as a girl -- not everyday, so mom realizes/thinks this is only a part-time thing, or perhaps a phase her son is going through (many kids do go through such a phase). Then as she more accepts your girl-self start slowly dressing up more often. A son might initially wish to dress as a girl nearly all the time, or ALL the time, but for a mother it can be hard to to absorb a big change suddenly, so one must let mom get used to seeing and hearing her son as a girl in stages, sort as an introduction to his girl-self . Mothers needs real-time experiences to mentally and emotionally adjust, and become connected to a new-daughter, so any disappearance of a son doesn't hurt as much even if just part-time. In time she may even come to prefer her new-daughter over the old-son.
Of course if mom PREFERS her son to be her daughter right off than that's another thing, but most mothers need time to get used to the idea of her son dressed as a girl, and alleviate any fears that this new look of her son would destroy their status/respect amongst their neighbors and extended family. Step-by-step progression is usually the better way to go in most cases, so small bumps alone the way, which are expected, stay infrequent and manageable.
And one should get mom well on their side before showing their girl-self to dad, as they tend to see their son as an extension of themselves so they might throw an fit and pressure mom not to let the son dress. Of course, if there's no dad around, or he's off at work on the road, then it might be possible to move forwards a lot quicker. And of course if the son has tended to be a mama's boy, and a bit feminine, then dad might let mom "have this one" especially if there are other boys in the family the dad feels closer to, or more like his masculine self.
If the reception from the guys in your family isn't too good starting off don't let your dad/brothers, or anyone, shame you by calling you a sissy-boy or try to make a "real boy" or "man" out of you by forcing you to do very masculine activities, or getting your hair cut very short. Instead insist on being you and expressing your girly desires as a right. Keep asking or acting out if they don't let you have some girl-time at all. Saying "I just like dressing as a girl" is really all you should have to say. Anything more invites an argument from others, and then will try to find some false solution for your perceived "problem."
Don't let society or internal fears dictate who you are, or who you can be. You can be be more than the limitations that seem high all around you. You have the right to be you. And that includes dressing and acting as a girl!
Better to risk telling your desires and end up failing, then to simply suppress one's girly desires and regret passing on this youthful opportunity for the rest of one's life. Girlhood is so significant in one's childhood and future that it's impossibly to fully re-create those learning opportunities and experiences later on, especially for those that are fully transgender, i.e. a real girl inside themselves. Or miss out going full-time as a girl because you got forced to go into another direction in life instead.
So grab whatever possibilities to express one's girl-self, or just dress-up fun, no matter what you think might happen in the short-term (rebuke or even mild punishment) and go for it! Most of the time you will be surprised at how tolerate or accepting people really are, as long as you make it clear it's important to you, and that you have always felt this way and just need to express this side of you, even if just part-time. Some might be wary at first, but show them your true-girl self and they'll come around most of the time as you prove this side of you is important and the real you.
The possibly sweet rewards are well worth the downside risks. Even lacking full support, most of the time even if you have to dress-up and get caught a few times for them to see this is important to you, you will find more girl-opportunities than you ever imagined, and so won't be a shock and over-react badly. If mom doesn't approve of you dressing try an open-minded aunt, or sister or neighbor girl-friend ... and even her mom.
Eventually your mom, and even dad, might come around once they see you are persistent in this desire and that others DO accept you in girl dress-up mode. Make it light and fun to begin with, then as you gain acceptance as a girl-boy, take your inner desires to wherever your girly heart leads you to go!
Then enjoy the special venture that becoming your girl-self will bring you!
Boys who like dressing as a girl, or think they might, should work up the nerve to tell mom the way they prefer to dress, by focusing on the likely good outcomes, not the downside risks. And even if doing this just for a time of fun, relaxation or to feel more calm inside (and behaving better as a bonus), plan to start off dressing slowly while getting mom, and dad if around, used to occasionally seeing you as a girl or dressing in girl's attire (like just a girl's top). Initially be careful not to do anything upsetting to your parents in girl-mode, or be seen by the wrong people dressed, that might bring a backlash to you about dressing as a girl. Careful of hateful neighbors and local boy bullies especially.
Hang with girls and maybe a good boy-buddy while in girl-mode. You want this to be as pleasant as new experience for everyone as possible. Let your friends know you still want their friendship but just in a slightly different ex
Now years ago it used to be a major shame for a boy to dress as a girl, and would have to take a lot of extreme excuses to do so -- as punishment (for teasing girls or looking up their skirts etc.), for some medical cause, or just a "sister dressed me up" thing, but nowadays there is a lot of public acceptance that doing so for just expressing one's gender self (being a gender nonconforming child) is not all that unusual so wanting to or "needing to" dress as the opposite sex to be one's true self is not all that unusual, at least in the news media even if no acquaintances are doing this. And of course girls still love to dress up boys as girls just for fun and games so that's common no matter what era we live in. And today it's even a more acceptable game and fun.
Also it might be useful to FIRST express this girly-desire to your sister or a girl-play-friend who lives nearby, and first practice dressing with them at their place. Then have them tag along to give you support when you have your dressing-discussion with your mother (something like "mom I would like to have my friend Sally here when I ask you something ..okay?" etc.) Keep the topic light and when you've got the okay-light, get out of there fast ...LOL! When mom sees that another girl accepts your dressing preferences and then the friend says "it's cool ... we've done this a couple of times at my place and he looks pretty dressed up and is even a nicer friend and boy when dressed up as a girl" then it helps reassure mom that it just might be okay and not a totally freaky thing. Afterall, if other kids are cool with this, then it's really no big deal is it?
Mom is likely not to immediately be able to imagine her son dressed as a girl, so first thing she might think is her son would look strange or queer. Or turning gay by wanting to dress as a girl. So when back in boy-mode be sure to act boy-normal so mom's fears don't run away with her that you aren't going off the deep girly end quickly. Of course, if you have always leaned towards preferring feminine colors, activities, and behaviors then it might not come as much of a shock that you might care to experiment dressing up as a girl now-and-then. Present it more as a fun-play thing to begin with, rather than would like to live as a girl full-time so it's just a slow stepping up to whatever level you wish to take this side of yourself.
And when you do first dress in front of mom make your outfit and hair either very play-like (costume/era style) or in everyday dress normal conservative, cute and well fitting dress or skirt. Don't go for the too frilly, too short or too tight of dress -- skip or save some styles for later when "normal" is established and already seen by others enough not to think you've gone crazy. It would be useful to start off with a girl play-friend with you so your mom sees you together and how normal it all seems and how your friend fully accepts you no matter how you are dressed. And helps prevent mom from asking too many questions right off if you're alone with her (though she might do later when alone with you). Or maybe just start off wearing girl pants and tops as a go-slower approach, then switch to wearing dresses once it all seems pretty normal day-to-day, then is no big change in your appearance. I like the start slow, begin to act more feminine in small increments, then go for the dresses and cute accessories approach myself.
And always ... behave as a girl when dressed as one! .... not as a boy making fun of girl-wear, like too often is seen in videos elsewhere where sisters dress up their brothers. Keep your legs together when sitting, smooth out that skirt and don't bend over and flash your panties by accident! There is ways to act girly and demure, so watch how other nice girls act and move. Also don't go too overly girly in your mannerisms, but enough on the feminine side to be taken as a girl by strangers and be extra polite and helpful. If possible, DO start to help mom out more at home in a daughterly role (helping set dinner table, vacuum, take clothes to washer, or even do the wash). Even wear an apron when doing so you look the part. And smile and be happy while you do these tasks. Mom will appreciate your girly self more this way!
When mom sees a real positive benefit in terms of better behavior from you, and that you are now taking some work-load burden off her with you in girl-mode that she couldn't get from you in boy-mode, then she might just think "well, maybe having a boy-girl isn't so bad after all!" Plus try to bond with your mother more as a girl then you did as a boy (be more cheerful, polite, and helpful to her). You might even have a joint nail painting party and you do her nails for her, or her toenails! Try to encourage her to do some mommy-daughter things, like going shopping or getting your hair done together!
I suggest starting off slowly in the amount of time dressing as a girl -- not everyday, so mom realizes/thinks this is only a part-time thing, or perhaps a phase her son is going through (many kids do go through such a phase). Then as she more accepts your girl-self start slowly dressing up more often. A son might initially wish to dress as a girl nearly all the time, or ALL the time, but for a mother it can be hard to to absorb a big change suddenly, so one must let mom get used to seeing and hearing her son as a girl in stages, sort as an introduction to his girl-self . Mothers needs real-time experiences to mentally and emotionally adjust, and become connected to a new-daughter, so any disappearance of a son doesn't hurt as much even if just part-time. In time she may even come to prefer her new-daughter over the old-son.
Of course if mom PREFERS her son to be her daughter right off than that's another thing, but most mothers need time to get used to the idea of her son dressed as a girl, and alleviate any fears that this new look of her son would destroy their status/respect amongst their neighbors and extended family. Step-by-step progression is usually the better way to go in most cases, so small bumps alone the way, which are expected, stay infrequent and manageable.
And one should get mom well on their side before showing their girl-self to dad, as they tend to see their son as an extension of themselves so they might throw an fit and pressure mom not to let the son dress. Of course, if there's no dad around, or he's off at work on the road, then it might be possible to move forwards a lot quicker. And of course if the son has tended to be a mama's boy, and a bit feminine, then dad might let mom "have this one" especially if there are other boys in the family the dad feels closer to, or more like his masculine self.
If the reception from the guys in your family isn't too good starting off don't let your dad/brothers, or anyone, shame you by calling you a sissy-boy or try to make a "real boy" or "man" out of you by forcing you to do very masculine activities, or getting your hair cut very short. Instead insist on being you and expressing your girly desires as a right. Keep asking or acting out if they don't let you have some girl-time at all. Saying "I just like dressing as a girl" is really all you should have to say. Anything more invites an argument from others, and then will try to find some false solution for your perceived "problem."
Don't let society or internal fears dictate who you are, or who you can be. You can be be more than the limitations that seem high all around you. You have the right to be you. And that includes dressing and acting as a girl!
Better to risk telling your desires and end up failing, then to simply suppress one's girly desires and regret passing on this youthful opportunity for the rest of one's life. Girlhood is so significant in one's childhood and future that it's impossibly to fully re-create those learning opportunities and experiences later on, especially for those that are fully transgender, i.e. a real girl inside themselves. Or miss out going full-time as a girl because you got forced to go into another direction in life instead.
So grab whatever possibilities to express one's girl-self, or just dress-up fun, no matter what you think might happen in the short-term (rebuke or even mild punishment) and go for it! Most of the time you will be surprised at how tolerate or accepting people really are, as long as you make it clear it's important to you, and that you have always felt this way and just need to express this side of you, even if just part-time. Some might be wary at first, but show them your true-girl self and they'll come around most of the time as you prove this side of you is important and the real you.
The possibly sweet rewards are well worth the downside risks. Even lacking full support, most of the time even if you have to dress-up and get caught a few times for them to see this is important to you, you will find more girl-opportunities than you ever imagined, and so won't be a shock and over-react badly. If mom doesn't approve of you dressing try an open-minded aunt, or sister or neighbor girl-friend ... and even her mom.
Eventually your mom, and even dad, might come around once they see you are persistent in this desire and that others DO accept you in girl dress-up mode. Make it light and fun to begin with, then as you gain acceptance as a girl-boy, take your inner desires to wherever your girly heart leads you to go!
Then enjoy the special venture that becoming your girl-self will bring you!
By:
LilChrissy
Age:
36-40
,
Female
11
responses
