Today I Am Coming Out of the Closet

When I cam on this site I showed an avatar that I represented as myself. It was a good looking guy and it got allot of attention. I picked this guy because well I believe I am a good looking guy and didn't want to be classified as another internet fat guy.

The reason I showed an image that wasn't me is one I hate that blurred thing. Two is I was going through a divorce, well starting to go through one. Newly to the internet I really liked the site the people on it and what it did for me. As a lawyer myself I know how bad things can get and the extent people will go through to make their case better. So while I was honest with my feelings on here I kept closed mouth when it came to the divorce. I didn't want to be found out so I disguised myself.

To the friends I made on here I am sorry. I didn't mean to mislead you in any way. I had to keep closed mouth about who I really was to protect my family I had left. I hope you understand and well if you don't sorry.

Today I am officially a free man. My wife gave up custody to our kids for money and a car and our vacation house. It could have been worse but I am happy my kids get to stay where I know they will have a good life. This day has brought me quite a bit of relief. This day is also has brought me to a cross road in my life. Those of you who know me know I fly helicopters. I have been offered a position with Blackhawk protection services. Blackhawk is a Government contractor offering security to individuals across the world. They are in need of chopper pilots in Iraq and have offered me a large incentive to make the move.

I make good money where I am at so it's not the money that is peaking my interest. It's the experience, the feel of brotherhood again. Any one who has ever served knows what I am talking about. I know it is dangerous there, every time I hear about a soldier dying my blood boils with anger and frustration. I don't care about the politics of us being there. I am one the side of the men and women who are there now doing the job. I know I won't be there fighting with them but I will be there with them helping.

The only thing that holds me back to think about this is my kids. I love them beyond words. If I decide to go I know there is a good chance I won't come back. I have a great family I know they will be taken care of. But is it fair to them to lose both parents.

This is the question, the dilemma

So I guess I am looking for some insight from people who don't know me personally. People my decision will not affect.
Jamcojay Jamcojay
31-35, M
4 Responses Aug 13, 2007

I don't understand. Are you coming out as a gay man, or coming out about the fact that it wasn't you in the picture?

Your children need you now. Since their mother has other priorities, you are the one to provide them stability, unconditional love, and security. I know the job may sound exciting and will serve to fill a need you are missing, but your children's needs should supercede your personal interests for the moment. Life is long, and you will have other opportunities. However, your children are in their formative years for a short period of time, and you need to be around. No one can take your place as their father.

I think that you must follow your highest principle. <br />
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Is your greatest loyalty to your children, or to the servicemen and women?<br />
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It strikes me that taking a job as a security contractor in Iraq is not the *only* way you can you help the troops, and it seems like a poor choice from the perspective of your children. Imagine that - your parents divorce and then your father is wounded or killed in Iraq when he went voluntarily, and not even with the military?? <br />
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My personal feeling is that there are better ways of helping the US men and women over there in Iraq, that do not jeopardize your family's future and safety.<br />
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I think you should separate that desire to act out of *principle* from the personal satisfaction of feeling the sense of brotherhood. If you are willing to place your desire to experience the feeling of cameraderie above your duty to your family, then that is the way your value system is. But I can not say that I agree.<br />
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Plus, the situation in Iraq is not a good one. Nor is it getting better.

i am glad to hear about your relief when it comes to your divorce. i can understand the reason that you would disguise yourself, as you have to do what you have to do in order to protect yourself and your family. <br />
as for the helicopter thing, and now- remember this is a personal opinion and you can take it with a grain of salt, but i think that you should be wary of taking up a job that requires you to leave your children after what has to have been a tramatic experience. i mean, the divorce might have gone really smoothly, but it is never easy on children, believe me, i am about to be in that process myself. <br />
i also understand the need to do what calls you and on that note know why you feel compelled to find the brotherhood that binds you in service. i want you to know that by whatever means necessary, just make sure you take care of yourself. <br />
*you know i'm here to talk if you ever feel the need... ?