Commitment Phobe to a Tee

I am probably not going to be able to add anything here that everyone hasn't already said.  I know I have commitment phobia, I know I desperately want help.  I am dating a great girl and all the standard push-away, can't get close to, easily irritated, etc, etc, are happening ... AGAIN!

 

I have gone to a therapist once and plan to go once every 2 weeks, but seriously, I would love to know what people have done or are doing to help.  This is crippling me in my relationships.

 

Thanks

 

cpmanalive cpmanalive
31-35
7 Responses Mar 17, 2009

One gets used to one's own company. Long distance relationships are useful but they're just a cop out and they're not REALLY relationships. What to do ? What to do !!

One gets used to one's own company. Long distance relationships are useful but they're just a cop out and they're not REALLY relationships. What to do ? What to do !!

Shaylon, that was perfectly stated. That is exactly what it feels like - "being wrangled by some rodeo expert and the only goal is escape." Like, this extreme tightening in your stomach and panic in your mind, disordered thoughts. <br />
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And I definitely agree that it's similar to claustrophobia!! I totally feel like whatever commitment circumstance I'm in is closing in on me, threatening to constrict me like a snake. It's terrible.<br />
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I'm still struggling with commitment, but I am finding that my romantic relationship is better. I've decided not to think about the future and live in the moment. My sole focus is today, not what will happen tomorrow. This has been helping. I don't feel panicky because what is there to panic about? I'm just focusing on today, which prevents fear for the future. <br />
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This is probably helped by the fact that my relationship became a long distance one. Definitely less claustrophobic when you don't see the person everyday and he/she can't just show up at your door. It'll be interesting to see if I can keep up the day-to-day mentality once he moves back. But I really like him, so I'm going to try.

Commitment is not exactly high on my list of priorities either. I had this great and exciting internship and all I could think was my g-d I don't want to spend the next 30 years in this place! It is very similar to claustrophobia I think like walls coming together on you and panic takes over where sensible people would think wonderful to have all this stability. There is a sensation of being wrangled by some rodeo expert and the only goal is escape.

I don't think they will laugh you off! It's a serious problem and can affect other areas of your life besides just your romantic relationships. Def go see your counselor @ university. That's where I see mine. Usually they're free too, which is a plus :)

I am exactly 100% the same and I'm thinking of making an appointment with a uni counsellor. I'm scare dthey'll just laugh me off but this really is ruining my life. <br />
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Please let us know if the counselling does any good!

I do the exact same thing!! I accept that I am a commitment phobic but I want to change that. If you get any good advice I would love to hear it. Sorry that I am not much help.